


Canvas

by kingyu (ifntae)



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-01-17 16:11:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12369354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifntae/pseuds/kingyu
Summary: Sunggyu and Woohyun in all of their forms.- prompts forwoogyuly-





	1. connected by the string

**week 1. connected by the string**

 

 

The moment Sunggyu dies, everything goes black. He suddenly doesn’t feel anything but a weird tingle on the back of his… what? He doesn’t feel his arms anymore, doesn’t feel his legs nor the throbbing pain in his heart that caused his death in the first place. He just feels… calm, as if Sunggyu was now this floating smoke, finally at ease.

The fear he had for dying seemed ridiculous now, and he didn’t really believe in reincarnation. So, what was this? Is he already on the other side? Is this how is he going to be the next centuries? A conscious smoke?

He thinks about Woohyun, his beautiful Woohyun who was clenching on his hand when he passed away. His last memory of his lover was the vague smile on his lips with a few teardrops on his cheeks, and the comforting ‘i love you’ he whispered to his ear.

He remembers looking down to their connected hands and focusing on the thin red string connecting their little fingers together. He remembers the day his mom explained the meaning of the string to him, that only he’ll get to see his when he has finally met his true love. Sunggyu, as the average 9 years old boy, had made vomiting sounds right away.

“I won’t ever fall in love.” the boy assures, munching on his cereal.

But one does not decide when to fall in love, and he learned that after seeing Woohyun across the room on a party a decade later. The string suddenly appeared on his pinky, and Sunggyu’s eyes followed it until the end. Until Woohyun’s finger.

Sunggyu couldn’t imagine the pain the younger must’ve felt when he parted away, and it somehow left him anguished. If only he could have another chance to ends things better, he would take it. He would keep his promise on growing old with him, probably dying together in their bed, holding each other with the only love they came to know when they were together.

But he doesn’t regret his life. Dying at the age of 40 was considered early, but not too much. He lived his life fully devoted to his lover and he was satisfied with his experiences, mostly because of Woohyun.

He was the love of his life, and Sunggyu -Sunggyu the floating smoke- wonders and hopes for Woohyun to be the love of his next life, if that’s even a thing. And if it was, he just wishes it won’t take him long to meet the other again.

And just as soon as he become that white smoke, he fades away.

  
  
  


Sunggyu doesn’t remember his previous life, doesn’t remember Woohyun nor the string representing their true love connecting their digits.

All he knows is that he’s bounded to feel uncomfortable with the concept, convinced that he didn’t like it either in any of his previous lives. So he ignores his mom’s demands and lives his life enjoying the freeness of not having someone tied to him just yet.

“You can’t live like that” Myungsoo frowns. “Love is not something you choose, it’s-”

“The miracle of life or something. Yeah, I’ve heard it all before and I still refuse to be bounded with someone like that.”

“It doesn’t feel like that.” Myungsoo says. “Are you saying me and Sungyeol aren’t meant to be?”

“You two are different.” Sunggyu rolls his eyes. “Anyone can see you’re the living reason why the string is even a thing.”

“You’ll be too, hyung.”

“I don’t want to, though.”

 

He’s careful about it when he starts University and notices his other half is somewhere around campus, always sensating the faint string about to form on him. It seems like the other is a student on his same major because he couldn’t quite enjoy the installations of the Biotechnology wing without his finger feeling the string yet again.

It’s not until he attends his first Molecular Biology class that it happens. He runs into the back of the room and watches every one of his classmates with intense eyes, careful that nothing weird would happen.

Then the professor comes in and everyone shuts up. Sunggyu finally moves his eyes towards the older.

Young, black hair and a pair of glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He looks up to the students and smiled.

“Hello, my name is Nam Woohyun and I’ll be your professor for this class.” his eyes moves through the classroom until it finally lands on Sunggyu’s surprised eyes.

Sunggyu’s finger starts to tingle just like the days before, and he watches the string, drawing around his finger. The red line runs down his desk and through the room, slowly making its way up to the only finger that it belonged to.

Woohyun looked down to his finger and the younger feels his cheeks reddened up.

He doesn’t get the courage to acknowledge the string until the class had ended and he thanked Woohyun didn’t say or do anything weird either. (But the older had looked down at his finger more than once and then up towards Sunggyu, gifting a once in a lifetime smile).

With doubtful steps he made his way towards the front of the room while everyone else left and the older tidied up his things. When the last student walked out, Woohyun finally turns around to Sunggyu, a soft smile on his face.

“Figured it’d take you long again.” Woohyun says, pushing up the glasses on his nose and without hesitating, placing a hand on the back of Sunggyu’s neck to bring him into their first kiss.

Sunggyu feels like he wasted enough time avoiding the older, but he can’t quite focus on that as his heart trembles on his inside for the first time.


	2. nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their last road trip

week 2. nightmare

 

“You don’t get it”

.

.

.

“No, let me speak-”

.

.

.

“ _Fuck off_.”

 

 

Sunggyu throws the phone away into the grass where it lands and breaks at the contact. He couldn’t care any less about it.

It’s suffocating, it’s overwhelming and overall it’s just what he doesn’t need right now.

It’s raining hard, he’s soaking under the rain.

The weather hides his tears.

He turns around and walks towards his pickup. He yanks the door open and sits in front of the wheel. The anger boils on his inside until he’s groaning and punching the wheel in pure rage. He’s so immersed in his own thoughts he doesn’t really acknowledge the body sitting at the end of the attached seats.

It’s not until he has calmed down and is softly resting his head over the wheel that Woohyun talks.

It’s soft, merely in a whisper.

“Are you okay?”

Both know the answer to that question but Sunggyu knows the younger means no bad by asking. He never does. The younger is sitting over his side, half of his head hiding behind his knees while his hands hug the rest of his legs.

Sunggyu’s eyes move to the car board and notices he’s full tank, so he turns the engine on.

“Where are we going?”

Sunggyu stares at Woohyun for a few seconds before replying _anywhere_.

The road to anywhere starts in the high way. It’s quiet and Woohyun mainly focuses on staring at the tear drops falling onto the window. Sunggyu sneaks some peeks at the younger whose legs are still sitting over the seat covering his torso.

“C’mere” he says suddenly, and Woohyun startles at the sound of his raspy voice, but he obeys nevertheless. He crawls to the other side where Sunggyu is sitting and rests his body on the inside of Sunggyu’s embrace.

He’s holding the younger with one hand and the other over the wheel.

Woohyun smiles and softly kisses Sunggyu’s arm.

A few minutes pass by and Woohyun stretches his hand out, turning on the radio.

There’s a girl group playing. Sunggyu doesn’t really know which one, he’s never been a fan of any in particular. Still, he knows the song, and it’s only because Woohyun knows it and has been singing it too much for his liking. The older enjoys the next few minutes listening the song with Woohyun’s voice on top.

When the song is over, Woohyun turns off the radio in an attempt to linger the song a bit more. Sunggyu hums the melody and both smile.

“You like it?”

“Only when you sing it.”

Woohyun smiles.

Before the younger could press on the radio again, a sound emerges from his stomach.

“Someone’s hungry” Sunggyu chuckles.

“And I want to pee too.”

The older laughs and changes their destination to a diner instead of just _anywhere._ He finds one around fifteen minutes later, and Woohyun doesn’t wait a single second before running out and into the restaurant towards the bathrooms when Sunggyu parks the car.

It’s still raining but not as hard as before. The heavy drops have stopped and for now there’s only a faint mist lightly wetting his jacket. It’s chilly.

He walks inside the diner and finds them a boot against the windows where they could see the cars passing by outside. He knows Woohyun would like it.

A waiter approaches Sunggyu. With her long red hair and flashy lipstick she’s very much ready to throw a flirt towards Sunggyu, but the latter doesn’t even notice when she recites the specials. His eyes stay on the menu rather than her blouse which has the first buttons loose.

“We’ll have two hamburgers, thanks.” Sunggyu states and gives the menu away with a cordial smile.

“‘We’?” she asks with a smile.

“Yeah, I came here with my boyfriend.”

The smile dies immediately and she writes down the orders as she walks away. Sunggyu doesn’t notice that he upset her and even if he did, he wouldn’t have cared.

The restaurant is rather quiet and fairly empty. Aside from Sunggyu, there’s another old couple sitting inside. Sunggyu eyes them with a smile, imagining being in their place. With Woohyun.

He hears a door opening and his eyes move to the emerging figure.

Speaking of the devil.

Woohyun is drying his hands on the back of his jeans and when he sits down, he’s about to raise his hand to ask for the waitress. Sunggyu cuts off the gesture and intertwined their hands.

“I already order.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

Woohyun smirks. “What am I eating?”

“Me."

It’s not normal for Sunggyu to be this attentive or affectionate, but Woohyun is nowhere near complaining about it.

Woohyun laughs. “What are you eating, then?”

“A burger.”

Woohyun laughs some more and changes his attention to the outside, just like Sunggyu knew it’d happen. They’re lazily playing with each other’s hands as Woohyun stares at the road and Sunggyu stares at him.

“Is this a road trip?” Woohyun questions. “We haven’t been in a road trip in a while. I liked it.”

“It can be a road trip if you want to.”

The younger chuckles lightly. “A road trip it is, then. Do you remember when we went to the countryside?”

Sunggyu frowns. “Don’t remind me of then.”

“Why not?” Woohyun asks with a playful smile. “We had so much fun in that barn.” he adds with an alluring tone.

“It wasn’t that much of fun to wake up with hay between my butt cheeks.”

Woohyun laughs out loud.

“But there were daisies there too.” Woohyun mentions as he daydreams, remembering the day. “I liked the daisies. I want to give you some.”

Sunggyu smiles tenderly. “No rush.”

Woohyun looks back at Sunggyu, and gifts him one of his killer smiles that reached his eyes which formed in crescent moons. One of those that Sunggyu loves the most and fell in love with. One that reminds him to the time they were nothing but happy.

They look at the road at the same time.

“Ugh, it's really cold here" Woohyun complains, caressing his arm. Sunggyu takes off his jacket and puts it on Woohyun before the younger can complain more.

“But-”

“It’s okay.” the older whispers, “I’m not cold” he reassures kissing the top of his head.

Sunggyu sits down and reaches for Woohyun’s hands but the younger moves them away, looking down towards his lap instead.

“What is it?” the older asks, concerned.

“They’re staring..” Woohyun whispers not daring to look up.

Sunggyu looks around and spots the old couple staring at them. They’re obviously upset. Confused. Judging them.

And Sunggyu is just angered to the bone.

He feels Woohyun reaching for his arm as he stands up, but it’s a worthless attempt to stop him as he’s already before the couple.

“You gotta fucking problem with us?” Sunggyu asks. The woman is frightened to say the least and she looks back at her husband, but he’s scared too and currently looking for the courage to raise up. "Can't a couple have some peace? fuck off" Sunggyu spits on their food and turns around, yanking Woohyun by the arm and storming out the diner towards their car. "Get on the car" Sunggyu groans, and Woohyun follows the command.

Sunggyu is about to get on his car when he gets pulled by the shirt and lands his ass on the asphalt. The used to be scared man is now kicking at Sunggyu's ribs, obviously pissed.

Sunggyu gets up in a chance where the man catches his breath and aims a punch toward his face. It lands on the cheek, but the man responds quickly and hits Sunggyu right on his left eye. he pushes Sunggyu to the ground again, and the woman's screams are suddenly heard.

"Fucking weirdo" the man tries to spit on Sunggyu but it lands on the ground.

They let Sunggyu go (or the woman forces her husband to stop) and he gets on the car, turning it on with his trembling hands and driving onto the highway yet again.

Woohyun is inside, crying.

Sunggyu doesn't know what to say, his sight is blurry by the punch and he feels like throwing up, even though he hasn't eaten anything yet. He parks the car on the side of the road after a few minutes of driving and turns around to Woohyun, who stopped crying but is covering his face with both hands.

"I'm okay" he lies, "come here" he wraps Woohyun inside his arm, on the side where it doesn't feel throbbing in pain by the kick, and Woohyun sniffs.

He looks so innocent and vulnerable like this.

They stay like that for a bit, hearing the cars pass by, and Sunggyu checks his face on the mirror. There's going to be a nasty purple eye, but that's the least of his problems right now.

"Are you alright?" Woohyun nods.

"I forgot the jacket"

Sunggyu hisses, but it’s because Woohyun passed an arm through Sunggyu's torso. the younger didn't seem to notice, so Sunggyu says nothing.

"What now?" Woohyun asks.

"We'll have to find a motel, I don’t think there's one far from--"

"No, what I mean is... what now?" Woohyun moves to his side and looks at Sunggyu who tries to turn around and hide the purple eye from him. Woohyun moves his chin, forcing him to look at him. Some tears fall down from his face, but he says nothing, admiring the older. "People don't get us... don't respect us... what's the point?"

It’s more of a spoken thought, Sunggyu wants to think. Woohyun is just speaking his mind, and he'd like to have an answer to that, but he doesn't. Not now when his purple eye and probably broken ribs don't let him think. He takes Woohyun's hand, and rubs his thumb against the back of his palm.

Woohyun smiles, and Sunggyu knows this is more than nothing.

He gets on the highway, despite Woohyun's complains that Sunggyu shouldn't be driving in that state.

"You can't drive" Sunggyu mocks, and Woohyun pouts.

"I could try and you could help me, this is automatic, isn't it?" Woohyun's hands aim to touch the gear-stick and Sunggyu panics. he stops the younger on time, but he had to use his kicked arm, and the pain just gets worst.

He tries to suppress his groans but Woohyun notices. The younger moves backwards until his back is against the corner where the seat bell is hanging.

"I'm sorry"

"It's fine" Sunggyu reassures.

"I'm so stupid"

"No you're not"

Sunggyu doesn’t like this Woohyun. The Woohyun that gets buried in sadness for meaningless things. He wants to see Woohyun smiling, laughing, playing around and annoy his ass off, just like before.

But he has this Woohyun instead. And he promised to himself he'd be with the younger in the painful moments just as he's in the happy ones.

Sunggyu's hand easily find Woohyun's knees shoved against his face. He strokes it down, where both of the younger's hand are lying. He wants to hug the younger, but this is as much as he can do, for now.

They find a little town not so far away, and Sunggyu parks on the drug store which luckily has a convenience store besides it. He buys the necessary supplies for his nasty eye, throbbing torso and their hungry stomachs.

When he comes back Woohyun rapidly steals the plastic bag. Sunggyu laughs. hHe must be really hungry.

Instead, Woohyun takes out the medicines bandages for Sunggyu's injury.

"I can do i-"

"I want to do it" Woohyun interrupts.

He feeds the medicine to the older, and takes care of his wounds. Sunggyu is perplexed for the attention, and he feels like falling in love yet again.

He hisses when Woohyun lies the ice bag against his eye, but after Woohyun pecks his lips, all complains go down the drain.

Woohyun laughs. "It's so easy with you"

Sunggyu hisses again, but this one is fake. "I think I may need another kiss"

Woohyun chuckles against his lips, and connects them, instantly feeling Sunggyu's healthy hand pushing him closer by the neck.

It's a deep kiss, but completely innocent. Sunggyu doesn't move his hand to caress Woohyun's side torso like he normally does when things are going to get heated. It’s probably because he's wounded, but even if he wasn't, he wouldn't do it.

He loves those nights of endless sex, where Woohyun's moans are his favorite song and he feels precious by the way Woohyun caresses his naked back. but those are not his favorite parts. It's the quiet after making love. the seconds they stare into each others eyes and Sunggyu's knuckles brush Woohyun's cheek until the younger has fallen asleep and curls his body inside Sunggyu's embrace and his head against the crook of his neck.

Sunggyu loves having Woohyun with him. Feeling the younger with him in every way it feels toxic sometimes.

Woohyun breaks the kiss, and connects their foreheads. He has his eyes closed and a vague smile drawn on his face. His stomach groans, and both laugh.

The world is not perfect, and it has certainly not treat them right, which is why they enjoy this more.

These simple moments that can't be taken away from them.

Sunggyu starts the engine again, and drives to a near motel that is just a few blocks away. Woohyun wants to drive, but Sunggyu manages to keep him still with a few _shh, let me do it_ , and _we're already here, stop complaining_.

The girl behind the counter frowns when Sunggyu says he wants a room for two. She eyes the car where Woohyun is waiting and the crook in her face gets deeper.

“What?" Sunggyu asks rather annoyed. He suddenly feels angry again, but he limits himself to say no more. He doesn't want the girl to end up not giving them a room.

"No-nothing" She hands him the keys after he's done paying for the room and writing down his information on the guest book.

As soon as their door opens, Woohyun runs to the double bed. Sunggyu smiles.

"I like the view" Woohyun says while moving the curtains to the side.

Sunggyu snorts. "you can't see anything, it's raining."

"That's what I like."

They lie on the bed after finishing their cheap meal from the convenience store and talk over everything and nothing in particular.

"How's your mom?" Woohyun asks, playing with their interlaced hands.

Sunggyu sighs. "Like always" Woohyun looks at him, waiting for him to continue "she wants me to forget about you."

Woohyun chuckles. "I was asking about her health but we can go that through that road if you want." Sunggyu sighs again. "You should. Forget about me, that is."

"How can you say that?" Sunggyu groans "I don’t want to" he pulls Woohyun by their connected hands until the younger's face has dug into his neck. "You're the only reason why I'm still alive."

"That doesn't mean you should still be here with me" Sunggyu manages to hear Woohyun whisper against his chest. The younger looks up to him, and gifts him a sad smile. "You deserve to be happy."

"I'm happy." Sunggyu retorts.

"You're not. You'll never be, not if you keep this up"

"Define this" Sunggyu groans, moving a little to his own side to have a better look of Woohyun's face.

"Remembering me. Yearning for me" Woohyun lies his hand on Sunggyu's hair, playing with it. "You deserve better than this"

"I just want you" Sunggyu complains, and a single tear falls from his eye. Woohyun chuckles.

"I know, I know" he wipes the tear away and locks his gaze with Sunggyu's "but I'm not for you, not anymore."

Sunggyu spends the night whispering sweet nothings into Woohyun's ears, as if that could somehow stop what couldn't be stopped. As if those words would be enough of a spell for his happy ending, the one that he has been yearning for a while.

A happy ending just with Woohyun.

"Just stay with me" Sunggyu whispers, drifting away to dreamland.

It's a soft sound, but he catches it nevertheless.

"I’m always with you."

By the time he wakes up, the sun is already up and there's an annoying absence besides him. He panics, raising up and hissing in the process as he was supporting his body with the wrong arm.

"Woohyun?" he cries the younger's name, looking for him in the bathroom and even outside of their room.

He doesn't find him.

He's not really surprised, actually. But that doesn't stop him from crying against his pillow, feeling his heart sink into the same darkness it was before. He drowns his sobs against the mattress and waits for the pain to go away.

It never does.

But he calms down at some point. Sunggyu doesn't know what time it is when he finally goes out, remembering that he threw his phone away the last day. He takes his time to go back to town, the mood feels dead. He feels dead.

Sunggyu hates the silence.

He turns on the radio in an attempt to clear his mind. Woohyun's favorite song plays and Sunggyu turns it off immediately.

Silence is better.

Just when he's starting to recognize the buildings around him, his stomach groans, reminding him that he hasn't eaten at all since yesterday.

He couldn't care less.

He stops in a flower shop, and the girl behind the counter gets a shock as she sees his purple eye. Sunggyu curses on his mind for not using his sunglasses before stepping inside the shop. She ignores the eye nevertheless, and gifts him a smile.

"What can I help you with?" she asks politely.

"I need a bouquet of flowers."

"Do you have a certain flower in min-"

"Daisies." 

The girl chuckles. Sunggyu is not sure he wants to know why. She moves to where the flowers were, and Sunggyu unconsciously follows her.

"Do you know what they mean?" Sunggyu shakes his head. "They can mean a lot of things, but there's one that's my favorite." Sunggyu keeps quiet. The girl is really talkative. "Don't you wanna know?"

"I guess you were going to tell me either way."

The girl laughs.

"True love." She takes one of the bouquet and hands it to Sunggyu, who looks at it without much thought. "If you look carefully, you can see that each daisy is actually two daisies blended together, by the way in which the petals are arranged. Isn't it amazing?"

Sunggyu had a different meaning for amazing, but he just nods. She's nice, and it somehow reminds him of Woohyun. His heart falls at the thought.

He leaves with the bouquet before the girl could make more conversation, scared to whatever feeling he could have being with her. Scared to remember the things he misses a lot from Woohyun.

He turns off the engine when he arrives at his destination. The place where he was kicked the day before was slowly starting to ache again, and Sunggyu ignores it.

The day is sunny, unlike yesterday. There is not one single cloud in the sky and the birds are tweeting in the trees around. He walks over the grass, having the path memorized by now.

He stops in front of a gravestone and his jaw starts to shake, endless tears falling down his cheeks.

He gives a few deeps breaths and cleans his face before sitting down, caressing Woohyun's name on it.

“I brought this for you, love" He takes the dead flowers out the vase and the new ones take their place. "I finally know the meaning of them." he chuckles, but soon they turn into sobs.

He wants to stop. Stop feeling this bad. Stop wanting to kill himself instead than feeling like this.

"You need to stop visiting me, babe" he whispers after he hits his head against Woohyun's gravestone a few times. "It's killing me"

Sunggyu feels a hand wrapping around his torso, and he doesn't need to turn around to know who it is.

"I can't help it." Woohyun whispers.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

Sunggyu wakes up, soaked wet with his own sweat. he pants heavily and raises up, adjusting his eyes to the darkness of the room.

He's confused, and feels like he lost track on time.

"Sunggyu?" A voice from his side whispers, and Sunggyu turns around, scared.

He meets a pair of sleepy puppy eyes looking at him with a question mark. Sunggyu lets out a heavy breath he didn't know he was holding until now.

"You're sweating, what happened?" Woohyun is about stand up when Sunggyu stops him and brings him into a sticky hug. Woohyun complains, and tries to get off of him, but he understand at the end.

Sunggyu needed this hug, for whatever reason.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Woohyun asks, and Sunggyu nods, letting a sloppy sob go out. Woohyun hugs him back, making circles on Sunggyu's back with the palm of his hand. "It's fine, I'm here."

"You were dead" Sunggyu cries. "But your ghost visited me."

Woohyun chuckles, "That sounds like something I'd do" he says, trying to calm the older. "But I'm pretty much alive, and with you. I'm not going anywhere."

Sunggyu sniffs, feeling stupid and vulnerable. "Don't ever leave"

Woohyun breaks the hug and cleans Sunggyu's cheeks with his thumbs. "I'll always here with you."

Woohyun kisses Sunggyu sweetly, sealing his promise with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wrote and posted this for johnten back in January but even while writing it I always wanted to turn it into woogyu too, so that's how this was born.  
> (I re wrote some parts but it's basically the same)  
> (also had something else prepared but too long and too little woogyu)


	3. wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't mind this 2am word vomit
> 
> (also, because i missed halloween week: made a short mention of that within the entry, hope u like that)  
> (also 2.0: haven't read this through, sorry for typos)

**week 4. When you love someone, you...**

 

 

Wait.

 

Sunggyu dreams of blue skies, green meadows and bright smiles that not only reach the eyes but force you to smile too, happiness passing on as easily as the wind. Dreams of locked hands, sweat on palms and the indifference for things that aren’t happening in the _now_ moment. The things that don’t involve Woohyun or his outstanding looks. Things that aren’t related to his voice or the timbre of his laugh.

He feels the kisses on his skin, the hurried hands on his waist and the faint arousal slowing emerging from somewhere within him when they’re together, close like this. It feels so surreal every time, and he makes sure to fool himself (every time) into thinking this is really happening, that his hands are really cupping Woohyun’s cheeks and his mouth still knows the taste of the other’s lips.

 

Morning comes like a slap on the cheek, and he sighs heavily each time he wakes up and the side of his bed is empty. Nothing new.

He finds himself putting on whatever clothes and sipping on his hot instant coffee as he makes his way to work, the only reason why he’s even waking up early in the morning.

It’s not until the coffee has really kicked in that he realizes it’s 10 am and hasn’t really done anything yet.

In lunch he laughs at Sungyeol’s jokes but the side of his mouth doesn’t even reach the half of his face. He hears Sungjong bickering with Myungsoo about yet again another anime and he listens to them without really comprehending the main problem about what they’re saying.

Dongwoo asks him if he’s okay and Sunggyu reassures him that nothing’s wrong.

“When is he coming back?” the younger asks, stuffing a piece of bibimbap in his mouth.

“On Friday.” Sunggyu answers, his voice trembling at the sudden realization.

“You excited?” Dongwoo asks, a sly smile drawing on his face.

Excitement is what he’ll feel when he’s actually with Woohyun. For now, no, he’s not excited, he’s impatient. Impatient to finally see the end of those lonely nights that seemed infinite, nights where he had to hug himself to sleep or, on some other lucky but rare nights, fell asleep as soon as his body had fallen on the empty bed.

He doesn’t want to believe it yet, that time has passed this fast and he’s finally seeing the younger. That almost two years have gone by without seeing Woohyun at all.

“It’ll pass by faster than you think.”

Somehow he doubts it.

 

The week goes by as slow as like watching grass grow, not only does time starts playing with him but his boss decides it’s a beautiful start of the week to pack Sunggyu up with endless loads of work.

That night he arrives home throwing himself on the bed, munching on a roll of bibimbap he stole from Dongwoo he never got to finish. He’s yet to undress from his suit, but he falls into dreamland a little bit too fast.

 

(“What would you do for me?”

“What kind of question is that?”

Woohyun grins, lips touching the tip of Sunggyu’s ear as he back hugs the older. “I’m just curious, you know I’d do anything for you.”

“Anything?” Sunggyu repeats, an intrigued tone hiding in his voice. “Well, I’d do quite as much.”

“You would?” Woohyun asks, somehow impressed. “Would you wait?”

For a moment he doesn’t know what the younger is talking about but then-

Military service.

Those two words pop up into Sunggyu’s mind in those five seconds. Sunggyu has been there already, choosing to service before getting into college, hence, how he got to meet Woohyun, a two years younger male who most of the times acted ten years younger than his real age.

Woohyun had said before that them meeting was destiny, that they were meant to be and every corny thing you could think of that involved soulmates. The older didn’t quite believe it then, but now, almost eight years into their relationship, he couldn’t quite believe anything else than that.

Sunggyu likes red, Woohyun likes blue.

Woohyun enjoys the beach on a hot day of July, Sunggyu likes snuggling on December with hot cocoa in his hand.

Woohyun is up, Sunggyu is down.

Sunggyu says jump, Woohyun asks ‘how high?’

Woohyun questions him ‘would you wait for me?’, Sunggyu answers ‘an entirely lifetime’.)

 

Tuesday arrives and Sunggyu barely remembers what he dreamed about. It was something about Woohyun, that he was sure of, but what exactly, he didn’t know. It was a bummer, having his imagination as the last resource to heal himself from the distance and time apart between them, and being exhausted enough to not remember anything at all.

He works his ass off like the day before, expecting it to go by faster but not letting the day do its thing, watching the clock hanged on the wall every five minutes. It’s no fair that his mind starts playing on him too, making him think about Woohyun while he should be focusing on his work and finish things faster.

5:24 pm. Woohyun’s browned up lips after eating strawberries covered in chocolate.

Work.

5:30 pm. Woohyun’s stupid need to drag Sunggyu to eat ramyeon at night, watching old episodes of Shin Chan on his laptop.

Work.

5:48 pm. Woohyun’s tears, their first fight palpitating on their skin, both males sitting against the door on opposite sides.

Work.

6:13 pm. Woohyun’s flexed muscles, lips on him, hands on the crook of his knees, tilting his legs to have a better angle and reach-

“Sunggyu?” Howon shakes the older’s shoulder and Sunggyu finally snaps out of it, realizing he’s been working on the same document for the past hour. The narration had been brought to a halt as he stopped typing coherent words and instead repeated Woohyun… Woohyun.. Woohyun. Woohyun.

“Come” Howon speaks up again, fidgeting on his shoulder and a playful smile on his face “You need a break.”

The break consisted on a night out with the others. Sungyeol talking about how numbers are suddenly so stupid, Dongwoo laughing his ass off when Sungjong dissed Sungyeol saying it was a miracle he even made it past high school. Myungsoo is in charge to fill everyone’s plastic cups with more alcohol until the conversation dies down.

“I’m happy.” Myungsoo exclaims, tainted cheeks and a silly smile making his eyes look like crescent moons. “Woohyun-hyung is finally coming back.”

Howon talks about the time he sprained his ankle and Woohyun moved mountains to get him into the hospital as soon as possible. (‘He was so stupid, didn’t want to wait for the elevator and carried me 5 floors down to the lobby.’) Dongwoo mentions the time he lost his wallet and Woohyun payed for his food an entire month. Myungsoo recalls the time he was on finals and Woohyun had been there to nag at him for not studying more before, and also there to bring him coffee in the library, checking on him every other hour. Sungjong disses Woohyun, mentioning his 24th birthday when Woohyun wanted to surprise him with a cake that ended up falling onto the ground as Woohyun ran towards him. Sungyeol smiles about the time they made the best Halloween party their college could ever have, lasting two entire days.

Sunggyu remembers that weekend. He hadn’t meet the younger by then, but everyone knew his name and the amazing party he was going to host along with his crazy partner in crime, Lee Sungyeol.

He goes to sleep that night with dry tears on the side of his cheeks.

 

(“Hey” Woohyun starts, startling Sunggyu. He’s wearing a cheap vampire costume. There’s a plastic cup on his hand and a drunk smile on his face. “has anyone told you what’s wrong with you today?”

Sunggyu is dressed as a rock star, a real frustrated dream of his. He didn’t spend much time on his attire but he thinks it was pretty good, the leather jacket brand new from a second hand store. He had looked down at himself with a frown on his face. “No.”

Woohyun grins. “Good, because there’s not a damn thing.”)

 

Sunggyu wakes up late on Wednesday with a hangover and throbbing head strong enough to force him call in sick. He knows he shouldn’t, not when he has already asked for a week off next week to spend with Woohyun, but today he doesn’t really feel like keeping up with his boss’ antics.

He walks down the stairs, the bed sheet covering his body and cocooning him with warm. He lowers his head once and twice to smell Woohyun’s scent from the sheet as he waited for his instant coffee to be done. It’s not that he didn’t wash the sheet and it _still_ smell like Woohyun, it’s that he had sparkled some perfume on it. Sunggyu is not that dirty nor desperate (well, if you measure desperation..).

The day passes by slowly, the clock ticking softly as Sunggyu watches the TV, playing and replaying Woohyun’s favorite movies and favorite anime episodes. He has heard the same jokes maybe a hundred of times already and even though they’ve lost its charm, he still laughs. He imagines Woohyun sitting on his side, a smile on his face and that same laugh that came as abrupt as it developed, like a rock jumping on water.

He falls asleep on the couch at some point. Dreams again about Woohyun on green meadows and the hurried but convenient get away he convinced him to do.

 

(“We need a break from school” Woohyun supports his own idea, Sunggyu going crazy on the copilot seat. “A weekend won’t do anyone any harm.”

They arrive in a little town somewhere between Seoul and Daegu. Woohyun buys a blanket to lay on the grass, a couple of water bottles and snacks for the day. There are more supplies already on the car and Sunggyu has a hunch that Woohyun planned this all beforehand.

Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, whatever that it was, Sunggyu was grateful. Works were stacking up before his eyes and he didn’t see an end of it, just starting to get into the idea that he was going to spend his next weeks sitting in front of his desk filling in meaningless papers about all the assignatures he didn’t really like.

Woohyun felt like a blast of fresh air. With his smile and canine tooth poking from the inside of his mouth, with his arm finding its own place over Sunggyu’s shoulders, with his random topics about everything but what bothered Sunggyu in the moment.

Sunggyu doesn’t recall asking for someone like Woohyun. Someone so reckless, spending nights streaming American shows rather than actually sleeping for another day of school, investing his money in worthless bets with Sungyeol rather than actually using them for what his parents sent it for: food.

But he doesn’t mind having someone like Woohyun in his life. Doesn’t mind holding Woohyun in his arms the afternoon after, the younger sleeping soundly as he read a book over the top of his head. Doesn’t mind sharing his food with him as Woohyun grumbled about Sungyeol cheating and being the worst friend ever, having his ultimate goal to have Woohyun living on the streets.

Doesn’t mind spending his entire life with someone like him.

The idea felt foreign in the beginning. He’s barely into his 20s and he’s already thinking about the rest of his life? He must be out of his mind.

But how couldn’t he think that? When Woohyun is before him so perfectly, offering him an escape in a stressful time when he didn’t even ask for it. Woohyun just _knew_.

“So?” Sunggyu asks, both feet on the dirty road, staring at the grassland like how he looked at Woohyun’s dog for the first time. With fear as if the meadows were going to drag him into and never let him go. The idea wasn’t that bad, entirely. “What now?”

“Now,” Woohyun smirks, blanket on one hand and bag of food in the other. “we relax.”)

 

Sunggyu wakes up in the middle of the night, ass on the floor and sheet hanging on the end of the couch. His head hurts and his stomach grumbles for food.

He’s the responsible one. The one who eats all of his meals at the right time and went to bed almost at the same time, a monotonous and unconscious schedule made up for him.

Now he’s the one who didn’t eat in the whole day and didn’t even know what time was it. He went for some food in his fridge, eating whatever that would shut up his stomach and let him sleep again. He felt tired and eager to end the day and meet Woohyun in his dreams again.

(He knows he’s about to see him for real again, but the idea makes him tremble so until Friday, he’s not really thinking about that fact.)

Thursday starts with Sunggyu frowning into his pillow. He couldn’t dream about Woohyun this time. Maybe he used his Thursday card the afternoon before, remembering their night counting stars right in the core of nature, where the sky looked the clearest.

Maybe they’ll get to repeat that again next week, it’d be cool.

He takes a shower after spending a day as a caterpillar with the sheet wrapping his body, getting ready for yet another day of work.

But today, fortunately, time passes by more quickly. He finally focuses on his work, having most of it done by lunch time. He actually focuses on what his friends are talking about, participating and everything. Sungyeol had opened his eyes in surprise when Sunggyu threw a diss at him. He hasn’t done it in all the week. But he’s not one to complain, so he followed along by mentioning Sunggyu’s ridiculous Trypophobia.

“Fuck, shut up” Sunggyu exclaims, closing his eyes and covering his ears. _Happy place, Sunggyu. Happy place… Woohyun’s embrace._

“You started it” Sungyeol answers, showing off his tongue and Howon hits him on the back of his head.

“Don’t joke with someone else’s phobia. You want me to talk about clowns?”

Sungyeol’s smile falls off. “Okay, but that’s different. They’re real and could kill me, what’s about circles all together and--”

“I think I’m going to throw up.” Sunggyu exclaims, actually standing up from the table and running towards the bathroom.

He did throw up, but it wasn’t as much as he thought it’d be. This is when he realizes he didn’t really eat much since Tuesday. He splashes some water on his face and resumes his work. Sungyeol passes by with a brownie in his hand and disheveled hair, probably after a dozen of hits from Howon forcing him to apologize.

Sunggyu accepts the apology with a smile on his face, not feeling a bit mad towards the younger.

“At least you’ll have your shining knight again.” Sungyeol exclaims, drawing now a real smile on Sunggyu’s features.

“At least.”

Sunggyu brings the brownie with him back home, laying it down on the counter as he takes off his clothes. Dongwoo had talked with his boss, somehow convincing him into letting Sunggyu miss Friday altogether to wake up early and receive Woohyun from the army center downtown.

Woohyun probably finished everything already, making his way towards Seoul and having his last paperwork ready there for him before finally becoming a citizen again and being in Sunggyu’s arms, again.

The idea of having Woohyun with him again is thrilling, something he hoped for the past years and he’s finally just a few hours before seeing him. He picks on the brownie as he watches TV and ends up falling asleep yet again, an M Countdown replay playing in the background.

 

(“Bugs are going to bite me” Sunggyu complains, watching the grass closely as he walks hand in hand with Woohyun.

“They are not” Woohyun laughs, “and if they do, well, can you blame them?”

Sunggyu hits his arm lightly, snickering. They find a great place a mile away from the road and Woohyun sets down the blanket, and before he’s even done, Sunggyu is already sitting on the core of it.

“Could you wait a bit?”

“And let those bugs eat me? Hell nah.”

“For someone who already went to the army, you’re really weak” Woohyun giggles.

“Take that back” Sunggyu complains. “Me going to the army doesn’t have anything to do with being or not afraid of bugs. They’re two things completely different.”

“Are they really?” Woohyun hums in thought, sitting besides Sunggyu as the older takes out food from the bag. “Okay, so, how about this. Mutant bugs attack the city and-”

“Okay, only then those two things are relevant to each other.” Sunggyu sighs, shaking off the creepy scenario.

“So,” Woohyun whispers, getting closer and closer to Sunggyu’s face, making the older halt his movement and turn around to see him. “I guess that if something like that happens, I’d have to be the one saving you.”

“If this is your way of being a sly flirt” Sunggyu whispers, lips inches apart, “it’s not working.”

“Is it not?” Woohyun smirks.

Sunggyu shuts him up with a kiss before the younger could even think about winning this one.)

 

Sunggyu wakes up with his phone buzzing, alarming him that he’s got only an hour to get ready and pick up Woohyun from the army gate. He decides to skip on breakfast and give some time into fixing his appearance, styling his hair and choosing his clothes (which was pointless, Woohyun was probably going to rip them off ten minutes into seeing each other).

He puts on some perfume, grabs the keys and runs his way out, stopping by for flowers before actually going for Woohyun.

It feels all so cheesy. He’s obviously not the only one there to pick up a beloved one, but it’s scary how much he resembles all the other girls and parents, everyone with a bouquet of flowers in their hand and eagerly searching for their boy between the bunch of guys coming out.

(Sunggyu ignores the way his heart starts pumping blood a bit faster, hands going to the back of his pants to dry his suddenly sweaty hands.)

“Where are you?” He sounds himself ask in a whisper. His stomach grumbles and he feels weak, but it must be the impatience and anxious playing on him.

His eyes scan the crowd. He doesn’t expect to see Woohyun how he dropped him off almost two years ago, but what his eyes catch is beyond everything he imagined.

Woohyun is standing in the middle of the road with an army attire and a strap of a bag hanging on his shoulder. A shoulder that looks as broad as the ocean, a shoulder that used to be skinny and short. His cheeks look sucked in, no trail of fat in them. The hair looks good cut short, jaw sharp as a knife and his eyesight is a bit more harsh, just like Sunggyu thought it’d be.

Woohyun is looking for him, and from a far distance, Sunggyu is trying to make his way towards him.

He can’t help but stare at Woohyun’s body when he’s closer, can’t help but wonder if everything is the same like he last saw it, or if there are new scars drawn on his skin, waiting to be discovered by Sunggyu.

In the middle of all the thoughts, he ignores the fact that his strength drops down and he’s suddenly seeing blurry when Woohyun’s eyes fall on him. He feels his legs fail on him and his knees are about to touch the floor when Woohyun moves swiftly through the people and catches Sunggyu in his arms.

It sounds cheesy, and as much as it is, it doesn’t feel as much for Sunggyu. His arms are hanging as Woohyun’s hands grab him by the torso, not entire the waist.

“Are you alright?” His eyes move frenetically, trying to find the reason why Sunggyu was about to fall onto the ground.

“Yeah, just didn’t have breakfast… or dinner.” Sunggyu’s cheeks pink up, and he feels as nervous as how he felt back then in the Halloween party and Woohyun had approached him with a lame flirt.

Woohyun snickers, analyzing Sunggyu’s features like its the first time they’ve seen each other. Sunggyu sees the smile going up and making Woohyun’s eyes into crescent moons. The younger’s cheeks puff up and the fat is suddenly there again.

“Fuck” Woohyun exclaims. “You didn’t change one bit.”

Woohyun’s hand fall on Sunggyu’s cheek, caressing it slightly.

“I did it” Sunggyu announces, tears accumulating on his eyes. “I waited.”

“And you did a wonderful job.” Woohyun answers, stroking Sunggyu’s nose with his. “I missed you so fucking much.”

“Not as much as I did.”

Woohyun laughs, ready to answer and start one of those cheesy discussions of who loves who more, but Sunggyu isn’t having any of that. He shuts him up with a kiss before he even starts talking.


	4. got that key to your heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got lots of songs i wanted to write about but.... i am indecisive as f, luckily lex recommended me [this amazing song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AN6AACA1K7k) so this prompt goes to her (o˘◡˘o) thank you lots for the constant support and keeping up with my annoying ass (and vic for stopping me from throwing this prompt out of the window lol)  
> (wont be able to post anything next week so you could say i blended this and next week's in one, you _could_ say so.)  
>  (wasn't planing on making this christmas-y but oh well) (and haven't read this through yet, so sorry beforehand for whatever typo)

**week 5 &6\. inspired by a song, fall(ing for you).**

 

 

Woohyun didn't just have one problem. No, having one problem could actually be pretty good. One would be able to take care of a problem at a time, being able to completely focus their worry solely on that matter. He'd feel blessed to be in a position like that, only if.  
  
The thing is, now that he thinks about it, life is not that simple and has never been.  
  
It all started on a Friday night, which one? He doesn't know. All he knew was he needed the get-out, the dancing, the kissing with strangers and if he was that lucky, maybe he'd be even getting some at the end of the day. Clubs have never been completely his type of thing, but Sungyeol was the one inviting him and he knew better than to turn down free drinks from the bar.  
  
The club was packed up with drunk people moving and grinding and Woohyun didn't find it amusing, not until he had drank a tequila shot and his eyes had fallen on a guy a few stools away. The guy was looking good on his red shirt and black skinny pants, little eyes hiding under some caramel hair. Nevertheless, it was easy to realize this wasn't his type of place either. His eyes kept looking back at the people, moving frenetically as his hands played with each other.  
  
Sungyeol had yet to arrive so he decided to give it a shot.  
  
"You alright there?" Woohyun moves to the seat next and screams over the music, although it doesn't come out as loud.  
  
The guy before him gifts him rather a small polite smile and doesn't really answer to his question. It was basically a straightforward respond that he wasn't interested on engaging in any chitchat, but Woohyun was stubborn (and this guy really got him curious. He had some kind of saying that those who you find in a club and not really belong there are the most interesting ones).  
  
"Let me buy you a drink" Woohyun smiles, lifting his arm to catch the bartender's attention. The caramel man is about to stop him, "can you give me a glass of warm water with a lemon on the side?"  
  
The bartender frowns but doesn't question him. Woohyun sees the cute guy before him show off a huge smile before covering it with the back of his hand. He reckons the other is laughing, but he can't hear it over the music.  
  
"Water? Really?" The guy finally speaks, and Woohyun shrugs his shoulders with a playful smile.  
  
"Didn't look like you needed booze but the complete opposite." Woohyun says. "What are you doing here?"  
  
The other's cheeks light up and Woohyun wonders what would it be like to touch them. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Not to sound rude, but you don't seem really comfortable."  
  
"Well, as a matter of fact, I am."  
  
Woohyun can't help but snort and the other smiles again, punching him on the arm.  
  
"What are we going to do with you? You're a very bad liar."  
  
"But I'm not."  
  
"Want to drink on it?" Woohyun smirks, head resting over his hand.  
  
"Drink what?" The other snorts now, bartender arriving with the drink. "Your warm water?"  
  
"It's technically _your_ warm water, and it could be a start-up."  
  
The caramel guy mirrors Woohyun's posture. "What would we drink next?"  
  
"Orange juice?"  
  
The laugh that comes next is sincere to the bone, mouth wide open and yet again the same hand attempting to cover it as his eyes get even more small.  
  
(He's forgotten completely his original objective and his mind focuses on finding more ways to make the other smile.)  
  
They talk more, Woohyun sees the guy smile more as he responds to his subtle flirts and for a moment both of them forgot where they are or the reason why they even got there. The people around them don't exist for a moment, the music isn't blasting as they talk.  
  
"I'm Woohyun."  
  
He offers his hand. The other looks at it for a few seconds, maybe thinking about a way to prolong more his unknown status. Finally, he sighs and lifts his hand too.  
  
But Sungyeol arrives before he could say his name.  
  
  
Things weren't so hard then. He'd repeat everything until this moment and would replay it on his head every time he's got a chance, somehow hoping what happened next never happened at all.  
  
  
"Hey! I see you've met Sunggyu?" Sungyeol exclaims.  
  
Woohyun is about to speak, maybe questioning him about knowing the other's name or maybe teasing this cute guy -no, Sunggyu- some more. But his eyes follow Sungyeol's hand, accommodating on the back of Sunggyu's back. He lifts up his eyes in the perfect moment to see Sungyeol kiss Sunggyu on the cheek, the other red as a tomato even under the blue lights.  
  
Sungyeol had said that he started dating this cute squishy guy and, sincerely, Woohyun couldn't bring himself to care about it, too preoccupied for his own problems.  
  
For once, he wish he had seen the guy's profile when Sungyeol sent it to him or even be able to recall the name beforehand.  
  
"I wanted to introduce you two, but when one was available the other had something to do." Sungyeol laughs, oblivious to the unspoken words in Woohyun's eyes.

 

  
   
  
Woohyun wasn't the type of friend that wished misery upon his friends, and less Sungyeol who happened to be one of the closest ever since he had memory. Yet he couldn't stop himself but wish things didn't work out between them. That maybe they would grow apart from each other before things even got serious and Woohyun would have the chance to wait a few weeks before making a move on Sunggyu.  
  
The next few weeks passed by rather fast yet painfully, Sungyeol inviting Sunggyu to everything they did. Woohyun had to force himself from not running toward the opposite direction every time.  
  
He tried to convince himself that he didn't care, that he didn't think about that night in the club rather constantly, that he didn't wish for every second of his days that he should have been the one that met Sunggyu first instead of Sungyeol.  
  
(That he was the one resting his chin on Sunggyu's shoulder rather than Sungyeol).  
  
"Hey, Woohyun."  
  
He lifts up his sight from his book and focuses on the couch's ugly green color to not acknowledge the way both of the laying males' hands are tangled with each other's.  
  
"You want some pizza?" Sungyeol asks, phone on his free hand. "Sunggyu wants some."  
  
"I'm fine." Woohyun lies, fixing the specs on the bridge of his nose.  
  
He could eat some pizza, but truthfully, he couldn't bare the sight of those two together any more than what's already required from him as the best friend. It's been a few weeks of himself being there with the couple but not actually there. Weeks of him trying to ignore the older ('cause Sunggyu was a year older than him and two than Sungyeol, same major as them) and failing miserably as every time Sunggyu approached him to start a casual conversation, he couldn't help himself but answer eagerly.  
  
But that's only when it's the two of them. Whenever Sungyeol was in the picture, he turned into a robot with short and monotonous answers.  
  
The book grows more interesting as he hears the couple engaging on another conversation with giggles on the side.  
  
"Ah shoot" Sungyeol groans, "their delivery service is unavailable now, I'll have to pick the pizzas up." The younger of the three stands up, kissing lightly his boyfriend before tidying up his shirt.  
  
"Do you want me to come with you?" Sunggyu asks from the couch.  
  
"Nah, stay here with Hyun." Said one lifts up his eyes for a moment, rapidly returning to his book as he catches the sight of the couple smiling to each other. "You could try talking a bit to him" Sungyeol whispers, "he's been a bit weird."  
  
"But why me?" Sunggyu asks, a bit uncomfortable with the task.  
  
Sungyeol was a nice boyfriend, an attentive boyfriend and a funny boyfriend. He would make Sunggyu smile and giggle with tears forming on the side of his eyes.  
  
"Because I'm the one going for the pizzas, and plus, you could two wash some dishes." He answers with a mocking tone, actually pretty serious.  
  
But sometimes Sungyeol wasn't that great of a boyfriend.  
  
Woohyun pretends to read until Sungyeol has finally gone out of the room and into the coldness of December. Sunggyu lies on the couch for a few more minutes, eyes on the TV but not really focused on anything that's happening on it.  
  
The feeling is there, Woohyun knew. He wasn't the best at love but he wasn't stupid either. He noticed how Sunggyu got nervous when they talked, how Sunggyu sometimes wanted to talk more to him but restrained himself from doing so, how the older sneaked peaks at him every time Woohyun moved his specs up as he was pretending to do read, just like now.  
  
"Why don't you want to eat pizza?" Sunggyu asks, sitting on the couch.  
  
"I just don't." Woohyun answers, flipping a page although he didn't really finish reading. He hasn't been able to read any further since Sungyeol left.  
  
He hears the older stand up as he turns off the TV, walking toward the small kitchen and moving a few things before silence domains the shared apartment again.  
  
"Would you help me wash the dishes?" Sunggyu asks, head peaking. His hair was ruffled a bit. "Or at least help me find the soap?"  
  
Woohyun stands up reluctantly, sloppy steps moving him toward the kitchen. He opens the stall under the sink, a few liquid soaps standing in line. Sunggyu chuckles awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. The younger takes one of the bottles and the sponge on the sink.  
  
"Ah, I can do it." Sunggyu protests.  
  
"But I can't let you" Woohyun answers with a sigh. "Can't let a guest clean what we've dirtied." He knows Sungyeol really dislikes washing the dishes but making his boyfriend clean them is something he wouldn't let him do (and it's not because it's Sunggyu okay, it's totally not that).  
  
Sunggyu wants to complain some more but his mouth simply stays open as Woohyun starts the task. He leans against the counter, eyes on the younger. When enough plates have accumulated, Sunggyu searches for a towel and starts drying them off. They both work together in the silence. It's comfortable like this and Woohyun low key hopes Sungyeol never comes back from getting the pizzas.  
  
He peaks an eye toward Sunggyu as he cleaned the inside of a mug, observing his mouth slightly opened and the smooth skin from his puffy cheeks to the end of his neck that continued under his purple sweater.  
  
The knife he was currently cleaning slips from his grip, making a cut on the middle of his palm. It stings right away as the open wound mixes with the soap.  
  
"Ah, fuck!" Woohyun hisses, throwing everything away as he moves his hand under the hot water, which makes him scream some more.  
  
"Oh f-" Sunggyu drops the mug, breaking on the floor yet ignored by both males. The older takes Woohyun's wrist and moves it from under the water to look at it. "Are you okay?"  
  
The question itself is stupid. Woohyun feels like cursing some more but his eyes fall on the worry in Sunggyu's face and he can't do anything else but laugh out loud.  
  
"What are you laughing about, stupid?" Sunggyu scolds, "you're bleeding! Where do you keep your first aid kit?"  
  
"Under the sink" Woohyun moans. He moves around the kitchen as Sunggyu looks for the kit, pain stinging a bit more with each second passing by. "Hurry"  
  
"Aha, found it." The older comes back to him with the first aid kit in his hand, taking out the distilled water. "I have to clean your wound first."  
  
"On another note, I think I'm much better now, no need for that" Woohyun laughs nervously, eyes on the bottle.  
  
"Woohyun don't be a baby."  
  
"I'm not a baby... you're the baby!"  
  
Sunggyu sighs, "just let me treat you, it'll be quick" Woohyun walks backwards until his back hits the wall. "please?"  
  
He looks into Sunggyu's pleading eyes, a frown on his features and hair still ruffled.  
  
It shouldn't hurt as much and Woohyun should keep up the screams on his inside, at least make the effort to don't look as weak in front of his not-allowed crush. But when the cotton touches his exposed skin, all efforts go down the drain.  
  
"Hey" Sunggyu repeats a few times "look at me, it'll be fine. Just look at me."  
  
And he does. As the older keeps on rubbing the cotton before looking for some bandages on the kit, Woohyun can't help but imagine having Sunggyu always there with him to look after him.  
  
In a sudden rush, as Sunggyu is looking down treating his wound, Woohyun moves forward, lips meeting the hair and forehead, leaving a kiss on it. The older stops moving, wound half covered. Woohyun panics for the next seconds, looking for viable excuse somewhere in his head.  
  
Sunggyu doesn't lift his head. Instead, he lowers it more, lips resting on top of Woohyun's wound. The kissing sound from Sunggyu's lips is well heard and the younger can't stop himself from blushing.  
  
The older finally looks up when he has finished up with Woohyun's hand.  
  
"A kiss for good measure" He says softly almost in a whisper.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"Then Sungyeol walked in the apartment before I could even think of something to reply." Woohyun sighs.  
  
Howon's eyes widen. "So he caught you?"  
  
"No, he didn't, Sunggyu moved backwards and we started cleaning up the broken mug." Woohyun chuckles, hands on the coffee, one of them still covered up with bandages. "Sungyeol freaked out though. Thought Sunggyu got injured with the mug."  
  
Howon has a bunch of mocks listed on his head, but he doesn't dare to say any of them, not with the obvious distress from the other. "What are you going to do?" he asks instead.  
  
"Nothing." Woohyun answers, fixing himself on the chair. "I'm going to do as if that didn't happen and ignore what I feel for him."  
  
"But Sungyeol needs to know" Dongwoo says. He has been sitting on the side for a while, quiet with his eyes registering every move Woohyun made.  
  
It's obvious that Woohyun won't get over Sunggyu that easily, and after having a boys out in a bar all together, Dongwoo can't believe Sungyeol hasn't realized Woohyun had a thing for Sunggyu. Everyone noticed. His eyes lightened up every time the older talked, always hearing what he said even though he tried to pretend he wasn't interested. If Sunggyu ever got quiet Woohyun would always throw a joke, eyes peaking to make sure the other found it funny. He's the first one to smile at anything Sunggyu said and the last one to leave any room, not until Sunggyu left safely from there.  
  
And it's not that Woohyun decided to tell his friends, it's that they decided to confront him, too evident that this was more than just a intense liken on Sunggyu.  
  
"No, he doesn't" Woohyun retorts. "He can't know, I can't just ruin his happiness to feel better with myself, it'd get us nowhere."  
  
"But what about Sunggyu?" Dongwoo says now and Woohyun's frown twitches, obviously responding to the name.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
The signs have been there and they're pretty noticeable. But it's not only coming from Woohyun.  
  
Every time Woohyun was quiet faking being uninterested in the topic, Sunggyu had been looking at him. When Woohyun went to bar to get them more drinks, his eyes had followed him, body twitching in an attempt to go with him, until he realized Sungyeol's hand was still around his waist.  
  
All this, Dongwoo noticed. He wasn't sure if Woohyun knew about this but judging by the story, the younger was pretty sure his feelings weren't just a one sided thing.  
  
"You should talk to him."  
  
"Again, nothing good would come out from that." Woohyun sighs. "I might do something I'll regret later. So I'm just gonna be there."  
  
"Be there?" Howon questions.  
  
"Yeah. Be there for him."  
  
"You just said you were going to ignore what you felt for him." Howon snorts.  
  
"Yeah, I'm going to be there... with no feelings attached."  
  
"A brand new way to say bullshit."  
  
  
  
  
"Horror movies aren't really my thing."  
  
Sungyeol gasps. "What? How can they not be your thing?"  
  
"They're not, and besides, it's December. Why can't we watch something Christmas-y instead?" Sunggyu pledges, puppy eyes mode on.  
  
"Because they aren't your thing either." Woohyun chuckles softly from his side of the sofa, comment slipping away from his lips. The couple and every living thing (including Sungjong's dog) turn around to look at him.  
  
"I don't mind watching whatever" Dongwoo says, stealing away the spotlight from Woohyun.  
  
"Everyone knows that, you could be watching a video of a sleeping dog for hours." Sungyeol snorts. "Nah, it'll be horror and I've decided it. I rented the movie already. Besides, the weather outside really fits it and all."  
  
There's a snow storm outside, rumbling the shutters every other minute. The were originally going to spend some time outside to play with the snow but the weather had gotten on the way and the night had come a bit too fast.    
  
"Who rents these days, though?" Sungjong mocks. "Have you not heard of a thing called Netflix?"  
  
"I am not paying $9.99 a month just for movies. The system is trying to get to us and I'm not letting them."  
  
"They have series too, y'know." Howon adds, a handful of pop corns in his mouth.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Anyway" Sungjong says now, annoyed. "What are we watching?"  
  
Sungyeol and Sunggyu speak at the same time.  
  
"Train to Busan!"  
  
"Casper the friendly ghost!"  
  
"It'll be horror and I've put my foot down." Sungyeol adds, giving Sungjong the movie to put it on. "Besides, I get to hold you if you get too scared" Sungyeol grins and the older mainly laughs nervously. "Also, someone should make more pop corns, Howon finished half of the first batch already."  
  
Sunggyu sighs on his side, standing up. "I'll go."  
  
"I'll go with you." Woohyun adds, no thoughts involved in the decision.  
  
"Woohyun" Dongwoo says, almost reproaching. _Almost_.  
  
"What?"  
  
They lock eyes for two long seconds. "Nothing, just... bring more coke."  
  
Both males walk to the kitchen, Woohyun rips off the plastic bag and gives the pop corn bag to Sunggyu, the older placing it on the inside of the microwave.  
  
"We should make two" Sunggyu says and Woohyun nods, ripping off another bag.  
  
The next few minutes are spent in silence, Woohyun taking out another coke from the fridge before mirroring Sunggyu's posture, standing still with back against the kitchen counter.  
  
"Why don't you like horror movies?" Woohyun questions, eyes slightly looking at the older but mainly staring at the floor.  
  
"Is there a reason to like them at all?" Sunggyu answers rather dry.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"No, sorry, it wasn't supposed to come out like that." He chuckles. "I just... the first horror movie I watched was about someone getting in someone else's apartment and it really freaked me out. From there on I don't like it, I keep on imagining it could happen to me."  
  
"I think we're safe from Krampus." Woohyun laughs lightly, referring to the beast that punishes bad kids in Christmas.  
  
"Do you know that I really have no idea what you're talking about?"  
  
"Krampus is-"  
  
"I didn't ask for an explanation" Sunggyu laughs. "The name itself gives me goosebumps."  
  
"Just, you've been good this year, right?" Woohyun says for no reason at all (for one reason at all: to keep the conversation going). Sunggyu nods without understanding. "Then you're covered."  
  
The microwave peeps loudly and Woohyun changes the bags, opening the former and throwing the pop corns into the bowl. He's giving the older his back and Sunggyu talks so softly he almost misses it.  
  
"But... what if I want to do something bad?"  
  
Woohyun stops his movement, ears catching on the tone but mind stubborn, not letting himself believe it's what he's thinking. He's debating whether to turn around or stay like this and pretend he didn't hear that when he feels pressure on his back.  
  
Pressure of another body.  
  
"What should I do, then?" Sunggyu whispers near his ear.  
  
His heart is beating fast in his chest and his hands are still stupidly lifting the empty bag. Sunggyu's hands find Woohyun's forearms and he moves the younger's arms down, touching the counter.  
  
It's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong.  
  
The lights go off. A blackout.  
  
He turns around (or is turned around), lips finding Sunggyu's in matter of milliseconds, hands wrapping around the older's waist like a magnet finds the metal. He tastes the chocolate in Sunggyu's lips, tongues meeting halfway to play with each other's. Sunggyu's arms are wrapped around his neck and Woohyun pushes him against the wall, bodies crashing with each other's.  
  
It's all happening too fast Woohyun can't quite believe it's real. That Sunggyu is really kissing him, that he is really kissing Sunggyu. That he gets to feel the older in his arms, in his mouth, at least for a minute.  
  
And like every minute, it ends.  
  
The lights come on again and Woohyun's euphoric bubble pops.  
  
He forces with every ounce of will in him to unwrap Sunggyu from his arms and move towards the counter again, looking down at the pop corn bowl.  
  
"You okay there?" They hear Sungyeol ask from the living room.  
  
Woohyun doesn't dare to answer, breathing heavily as to get down from the high. He's hitting his head against the stall.  
  
"Yeah" Sunggyu screams back, body still resting against the wall, red lips and hair disheveled. Woohyun clicks on the microwave again, restarting the countdown.  
  
Neither of them say anything, not when the microwave finishes or when Woohyun walks out of the kitchen with two filled bowls in his hands.  
  
Sunggyu joins them in the couch a minute later with the excuse that he was looking for ice. ('And where's the ice?' Sungyeol had asked. 'I... I didn't find any.') Woohyun stays quite the entire two hours, eyes fixed on the screen but not really registering what was happening. It's a movie he has already seen.  
  
He's instead replaying everything in his head.  
  
Sunggyu's voice near his ear. Sunggyu's lips on his. Sunggyu's arms on his neck. Sunggyu's hands caressing the bottom of his hair. Sunggyu. Sunggyu.  
  
When the movie ends, he wastes no second before grabbing his coat and walking out of the apartment, no snow storm strong enough to stop him.

 

  
The rest of the week (Christmas) is spent with everyone in their own hometowns with their respective families. Or that's what Woohyun wants to think, as he made his luggage that night and called for the first cab to get to his parents' house in a matter of an hour. He left a note for Sungyeol, scribbling whatever excuse that his mother needed him and he couldn't really say goodbye but he'd be back by next year.  
  
His mom had been surprised yet glad to see her son back and without letting her know beforehand, but when Woohyun breaks down on her and cries his heart out, her smile fades away.  
  
It's nothing, he said when he stopped. (It's Sunggyu, he thinks.)  
  
He turns off his phone to avoid whatever salty comment his friend would make to him, oblivious to the pain in which Woohyun lived those few days. The pain of liking (loving, even) Sunggyu a bit too much and having the constant reminder that it was so wrong (but so good), as Sungyeol didn't deserve this. He would never mean to hurt his friend like this yet he did.  
  
(Yet as he stuffs his mouth with his mother's cookies, the only thing he's hoping for is that Sunggyu went back to Jeonju alone, with no Lee Sungyeol besides him to meet his parents.)  
  
His coverage didn't really work out for long as on Christmas afternoon his mother had phoned Dongwoo, easily convincing him into forcing Woohyun out of the house to take a walk.  
  
Woohyun is a very happy kid, she had said. And he hasn't smiled since he came back.  
  
The walk took them to the cafe nearby where both males take their coats off and warm themselves with cup of coffees in the back of the store.  
  
Woohyun means to tell him everything that happened that night, but Dongwoo beats him.  
  
"Sunggyu and Sungyeol broke up" Dongwoo announces.  
  
Woohyun's eyes are opened widely. He wants to hear it again.  
  
"Who broke up with who?" He hears himself ask.  
  
"Sungyeol says it was mutual, but you know what that means."  
  
"Sunggyu broke up with him..." He whispers, eyes looking somewhere over the table.  
  
"Sungyeol's pissed off at you." Dongwoo adds, sipping on his coffee.  
  
"What? Why?" Did Sunggyu tell him the truth? But what was the truth?  
  
"He's pissed that his best friend wasn't there for him, I had to keep up with his emo self."  
  
"Ah, that.." Woohyun sighs, somehow relieved. "Sorry, I just really needed to go back home. Did... did he cry?"  
  
"Nah" Dongwoo waves his hand in the air. "He wasn't that bad, I guess Sunggyu was really nice with him because when Sungyeol called me over, they were sitting on the couch watching TV."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, they even hugged when Sunggyu left and Sungyeol just then went all emo on me, mostly because you weren't there."  
  
"I see..."  
  
"Did something happen between you two?" Dongwoo asks now. "In the blackout."  
  
"No." Woohyun lies. It's not something he wants to share. He trusts Dongwoo with his life, yet it's a memory he'll keep for himself. The memory of how awful of a friend he is.

 

 

  
He doesn't see Sunggyu right away.  
  
When he comes back he spends most of his time dealing with sulky Sungyeol as both of them watch anime until the last day of the year. They're hosting a New Years party, mostly because Sungyeol feels like it. He is not a creature of depression and Woohyun admires that from him.  
  
Even admires him more when he says he'll invite Sunggyu, although neither of them is sure if he'll come.  
  
"We broke up in good terms" Sungyeol comments on the last afternoon, eating some peanuts as Woohyun empties the content of several jumbo chip bags. "so I'd like him to come in a sign of good fate... and also to let him see me make-out with a much more handsome dude."  
  
Woohyun chuckles. He doubts there will ever be someone more handsome than Sunggyu.  
  
"What?" Sungyeol answers, mouth stuffed. "I am allowed to do that!"  
  
"I didn't say anything" Woohyun answers, a smile still on his face.  
  
"Besides," Sungyeol continues as Woohyun throws the empty bags on the trash bin. "I always knew we weren't going to last. He's more your style."  
  
"What?" He blinks in surprise.  
  
"He's the kind of guy you date, not the kind I date, but it was fun while it lasted."  
  
Is perfection not the kind of guy Sungyeol likes? Is someone with small eyes that can even get smaller when he smiles, someone with the best timbre of laugh, someone with the best comebacks in an argument or someone with an angelic voice not his kind of guy? He wants to ask all this and a lot more.  
  
"I see" He merely says instead.

 

  
People start arriving at 7PM and like the typical Sungyeol, he's merely in charge of the booze, filling everyone's plastic cups with alcohol every ten minutes. Woohyun checks on the food and furniture, checking that nothing would get stain or dirtied as people danced in the living room (music sponsored by Howon thank you very much). He checks the rooms a few times an hour to throw people out of them. It's not that Sungyeol invited lots of people (if 30 didn't count as lots), it's that the kind of people he invited is the one he reserved for big parties.  
  
He didn't think about Sunggyu most of the time, too preoccupied with this and that.  
  
It's at 9PM when the older finally makes his appearance. By this moment Woohyun has barely had a rest from moving around the apartment and Sungyeol is very much wasted, his buttoned shirt a bit loose.  
  
"You want me to help you on anything?" Sunggyu asks, approaching Woohyun who's standing behind the counter in the kitchen.  
  
Woohyun's thinking process moves a hundred miles per second, thinking about the last time he last Sunggyu, all the things he had prepared to say if the older even came, and how Sunggyu looked so damn good in his black buttoned shirt, all at the same time.  
  
"Someone threw up near the bathroom." Woohyun says in a robot tone, still not believing Sunggyu is before him. He's holding a pair of gloves and a rag on his hands.  
  
"Near?" Sunggyu lifts an eyebrow.  
  
"They didn't quite make it" Woohyun chuckles, making the older follow along.  
  
"I'll take care of that" Sunggyu smiles, stealing away the materials needed for such disgusting situation.  
  
Woohyun follows him closely. "Ah, no, let me! I can't have you cleaning that!"  
  
"I don't mind!" Sunggyu reassures, making his way toward the bathroom and opening the door.  
  
Inside there's Sungyeol, head leaning on the inside of the toilet bowl, a good looking guy making circles on his back with the palm of his hand. Sungyeol lifts up his head and sees the older.  
  
"You weren't supposed to see me like this" He complains, throwing up a bit more. The three males frown at the sound. "You were supposed to see me kissing Myungsoo" he whines.  
  
"Myungsoo?" Woohyun frowns.  
  
The handsome man sitting on the edge of the bathtub raises his hand with a polite yet embarrassed smile. "That'd be me."  
  
"Where's the almost-there vomit?" Sunggyu asks, looking at the floor everywhere.  
  
"I took care of it" Myungsoo smiles. "I'll take care of him, don't worry."  
  
As soon as both males had come into the bathroom, they leave, not questioning Myungsoo at all on such decisions.    
  
Now both of them are with no tasks to do and awkwardness to deal with.  
  
The music is too strong so Woohyun grabs Sunggyu's forearm and drags him to the kitchen. He's not even sure about what he'd like to say or ask, he's just sure he wants to be with him.  
  
"So..." Sunggyu starts, picking on food.  
  
"What'd you come?" Woohyun asks without thinking. Sunggyu frowns, rather amused.  
  
"Should I not?"  
  
"No! No, come... stay." Woohyun blabbers, a red stain creeping on his cheeks when Sunggyu giggles. "What I meant is, did you come... for me?"  
  
The older shrugs. "I always knew Sungyeol threw great parties."  
  
"Ah, of course."  
  
"I'm shitting with you." Sunggyu smiles. "You never invited me that orange juice."  
  
Woohyun blinks twice before he finally connects the dots.  
  
"It's only polite to let you do it before the year ends."  
  
"But... I don't think we have orange juice." Woohyun says softly, afraid that he just ruined everything without knowing.  
  
Sunggyu moves to the other side of the kitchen and Woohyun suddenly acknowledges the unknown 7/11 plastic bag. He didn't buy anything in a 7/11.  
  
"I took the liberty to get some myself" Sunggyu says, ears getting red as he takes out the orange juice carton. "Is that okay?"  
  
"It's more than okay." Woohyun answers, finally smiling.  
  
He takes out two plastic cups and pours the orange juice in them.  
  
"Let's toast on it." Sunggyu smiles. "For a better year next year."  
  
Woohyun smiles, both cups clashing.  
  
"You should say one too" Sunggyu says, stopping Woohyun from drinking his juice.  
  
"I don't think I want something next year, this one is finishing quite well."  
  
Sunggyu lifts an eyebrow. "really?"  
  
"I still have," Woohyun checks his watch, "two hours for my last wish of this year to come true"  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"Wouldn't I spoil it if I say it?" Woohyun smirks.  
  
"Is it a birthday wish? If it isn't then there's no harm on saying it out loud."  
  
Woohyun drinks on his juice and Sunggyu frowns. "Patience is a virtue."  
  
They spend the next hour or so talking ever so comfortably on the kitchen like they first time talked with each other. People dancing and enjoying themselves as they were grinding with each other while they just talked as if they weren't really in a party and the music wasn't as loud as it really was.  
  
Woohyun can't worry about the state of his apartment when he talks with Sunggyu. Can't really bring himself to care about his couch or if someone else throw up somewhere else, all he wants is this moment with the older to never end.  
  
"Why'd you leave?" Sunggyu asks when the last topic ends. "that night... I thought you were angry at me."  
  
"I would never be angry at you" Woohyun sighs, looking at the end of his plastic cup.  
  
"Now that's a lie."  
  
"It's not... or at least not in this context, because no, I wasn't angry."  
  
"Then why?"  
  
"It was wrong. You and I both know it and... if I stayed one more second in that room with you, I would've done things worth being punch by Sungyeol."  
  
"Really?" Sunggyu asks, amusement in his tone. "Like what?"  
  
"Why did you break up with Sungyeol?" Woohyun asks instead, ignoring Sunggyu's question and making him frown.  
  
"I liked Sungyeol," Sunggyu starts saying. "he was good to me, but even after all the time with him as my boyfriend... I don't think I liked him as much as I liked you."  
  
Woohyun stares, not daring to say anything, almost forcing Sunggyu to continue.  
  
"It wasn't fare to Sungyeol so I told him that we would be better as friends, I appreciated him enough to at least save our friendship and Sungyeol for a moment didn't take is as good but at the end he smiled and told me it was okay."  
  
"The memory of us in that day in the kitchen is painful." Woohyun says, sincerely. "'Cause over the joy of it, of finally kissing you, there's the disgust I had over me, doing something like that with my best friend's boyfriend."  
  
Sunggyu smiles warmly. "I think so too."  
  
"So," Woohyun continues, "we're nothing but forced to repeat it now that there's nothing in between."  
  
The older laughs now, just like he had laughed the first time Woohyun asked for the warm water for him. "are we really forced?"  
  
"Yeah, of course, it's only fair."  
  
"For who, exactly?"  
  
Woohyun looks around the kitchen without answering and eventually walks outside, in search of something. Sunggyu follows him and reaches the frame of the door when Woohyun walks back and meets him there, something on his hand.  
  
"For this mistletoe." Woohyun answers finally, lifting the plastic mistletoe over their heads. "I think if we don't kiss right now, it'd be like we were taking it for granted, throwing away the tradition of two people coming together and-"  
  
Sunggyu doesn't let him finish, moving forward to meet their lips in a kiss as he couldn't stop himself from smiling into it.  
  
"Is this enough?" He asks when he parts away.  
  
Woohyun, inches away from Sunggyu's mouth, hums. "I don't think so. The mistletoe doesn't look satisfied with that."  
  
Sunggyu laughs out loud, wondering how would a satisfied mistletoe look like. But he doesn't voice out his question. Instead, an arm wraps around the younger's neck to crash their lips into another kiss, and this one lasting even more than all the last ones.  
  
Woohyun tastes the orange juice on Sunggyu's mouth and thinks about inviting Sunggyu a strawberry milk next time.

 

 


	5. Flat ass (or, good day)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weather is plainly saying it's not going to be a good day, but Sunggyu refuses to accept it. 
> 
> Also, Woohyun's ass is ~~not~~ flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning to make an entry for the love/hate week, but this happened. I won't even pretend I didn't start writing this after Infinite's previews of them in suits today (171212, a day to remember) 'cause that's exactly what happened here. 
> 
> This prolly doesn't make sense.
> 
> Also, the name is stupid but can't think of anything that would fit better this whole mess.

**week... 9? love/hate**

 

The clouds in Seoul are grey. The streets are desert and at the same time all blocked from cars honking in desperation. The forecast had been pretty direct from the week before- do not go out on Monday. It will not be a pretty day.  
  
Sunggyu didn’t believe it. He didn’t believe it when his cat had peed on his carpet or when the automatic garage door had stopped working and he had lost the key to open it manually so he was forced to walk to the nearby bus stop to get to work. The day had been going downfall from the moment he opened his eyes, but still, he refused to believe it was doomed.  
  
He was not your typical positive guy, not even near, but he needed to have a good day today.  
  
Today, he’s presenting his two months of work power point presentation. He’s been working his ass off for it— spending nights at the company, even adding those useless fancy movements that he knows one of his bosses just loves. It’s perfect, it has the right information and the files he’d be passing around for them to see are just as much. His attire was on point too, despite the constant attempts from every driver out there to just splash some dirty water in those fancy grey pants. (Not today, he had whispered to himself triumphantly, a spare of pants on the inside of portfolio.)  
  
He had forgotten his USB in the car.  
  
That had not been the first sign of this being a bad day, and when Myungsoo walked up to him with a second USB he kept with himself because _hyung, it’s important to have a backup_ he mentally slapped Murphy’s Law. This day was not meant to be bad, not at all.  
  
But it was.  
  
The presentation didn’t go as good as he would’ve liked it to. Myungsoo’s back up didn’t have the few changes he had made the night before, but it was fine. Despite himself explaining some things that weren’t showing in the slides, he managed to move around the point and relate them to what was being showed. One of his bosses had made a question that took him off-guard, but it was easily answered by another boss of his. _It’s on page 9._  
  
People staring at him never made him feel uneasy— it had a contrary effect, he felt more important, more secure of his words.  
  
But there had always been a pair of eyes that made him feel uncomfortable to the bone.  
  
“How do you expect us to follow your plan if you don’t have the approximate budget fixed?”  
  
_Fucking Nam Woohyun._  
  
“I’ll be able to give you a budget once I get the permission to do my pilot test. It’d take—“  
  
“How can we trust your pilot test?” The younger man scoffs, a finger flicking over Sunggyu’s papers which took him easily 30 hours to prepare. “We can’t throw our money around.”  
  
“It’s not something expensive, just enough for a few samples to test in the street and if the responses are good we would be able to—“  
  
“This is all hypothetically. Let’s say, hypothetically, this doesn’t work. What would you do? How would you return the used money?”  
  
Sunggyu clenches his fist. “A little bit of faith wouldn’t kill you.”  
  
“Excuse me?” Woohyun lifts an eyebrow, sitting better on his black fancy chair.  
  
“I’ve been working my ass off for this.” Sunggyu snaps. “I’ve been working years here and never done anything wrong, my work is perfect and there’s no sign this could go wrong—“  
  
“But what if it did?”  
  
“What if it did?” Sunggyu barks. “It wouldn’t bother you, it would still be progress because like that we would know the costumers aren’t happy with that would be offered and we could take that as something good—“  
  
Woohyun throws the bunch of files to the middle of the table. He pushes his chair back and closes his eyes. The room is dead quiet, Sunggyu’s heavy breathing the only thing heard.  
  
“I want you to think about it more, it’s not convincing enough.”  
  
  
  
“You should be thankful he didn’t fire you.” Howon says. “Speaking like that to him?” He munches on his sandwich, feet slightly touching Sunggyu’s under the table. The older had come to his office with two sandwiches and a lot to complain about a certain someone.  
  
“Someone had to!” Sunggyu barks, a piece of lettuce flying from his mouth. “What kind of answer is that? ‘ _We can’t throw our money around_ ’? Is he trying to pretend he’s not wasting money on a maid and multiple useless devices at his useless expensive house with his useless expensive food and his stupid useless expensive make up that everyone just fucking knows he’s using?”  
  
“Yeah but—“  
  
“And he’s got this fucking cocky attitude, as if he’s owning our asses and we would just have to do what he’s saying.” Sunggyu stands up.  
  
“Well, technically—“  
  
Sunggyu cleans his mouth with a tissue. “Fuck him and his good looks. Can’t fucking believe I had a crush on someone so stupid as him when I first got here.“  
  
“Hyung, you should—“  
  
“No, Howon, I won’t calm down. I’m tired of spoiled brats like him, I worked my ass off for a presentation like this, insisted and begged on having that meeting, even pulled some strings because you know this is a good idea, it’s consistent, it’s solid, you can’t read the first two pages without just _knowing_ it’s going to fucking work.”  
  
“Please, hyung—“  
  
“And this asshole comes and says ’it’s not convincing enough’ your ass is not convincing enough! Can’t fucking believe I once had a thing for that flat ass, he has nothing there, no-fucking-thing, like in his brain, it’s empty, he can’t recognize a good plan when he sees it and—“  
  
“You finished?” A foreign voice asks. Foreign yet so familiar.  
  
Sunggyu turns around, dirty tissue still in his fist and some sauce still on the corner of his lips. Woohyun is looking at him, face serious and hands hiding on the inside of his pockets, probably hiding the knife he wants to just dig in Sunggyu’s guts. At this point, Sunggyu might as well do it instead.  
  
“Come with me.”  
  
  
  
Maybe he should’ve really followed the forecast’s suggestions. _It’s not going to be a good day_. He had meant it weather speaking, but probably the weather was just a sign, a representation of how this whole day was going to end like.  
  
“If you’re going to fire me, cut the foreplay and just do it.” Sunggyu mutters, forcing himself to hide the nervousness in his tone.  
  
“I’m not firing you.” Woohyun answers, sitting on his chair behind his desk.  
  
“Why not?” It’s surprising enough to make him open his eyes the most he’s done in his entire life.  
  
“Because you’re good, Kim Sunggyu.” Woohyun explains, leaning back. “You have good ideas, ideas that lack in the execution, which is why I told you to think more about it. I’ve been following your work closely and I know who you are.”  
  
Sunggyu scoffs. “You know who I am?”  
  
“Work speaking.” Woohyun says. “You’re a very good employee, but what you said back there…” He stands up, making his way to the other side of the desk and leaning against it, a few steps far from Sunggyu. “I can’t let you bad mouth me like that, what kind of boss would I be if I don’t punish you? It’s worth firing for.”  
  
“How long, then?” Sunggyu sighs in defeat. Yeah, he kind of deserves it, it was not his best moment.  
  
“I’m not taking you off work.” Woohyun says. “You need to finish your presentation and schedule a meeting for next week, everything perfect with a budget fixed.”  
  
“But—“  
  
“You’re good at math, Sunggyu-ssi. I’m sure you’ll come up with something close enough to the final budget.”  
  
Sunggyu sighs once more, the heat of his previous rage dissipating quickly enough. Woohyun is not as bad as he portrayed him in words back there, but he needed to vent off and Woohyun had been the source of his anger today (If you ignored everything bad that happened before and Sunggyu made the effort to ignore).  
  
“Now, let’s go to more important issues.” Woohyun stands up. “Like that mouth of yours.”  
  
Sunggyu furrows his eyebrows. Woohyun is walking up to him, hands hiding in his pockets.  
  
“What can we do to make this not happen again?”  
  
“What?”  
  
He doesn’t realize he started walking backwards until his back hits the cold wall. Woohyun keeps on getting close, close enough to let Sunggyu smell his mint breath as he says “Maybe I’ll have to just shut those lips up.”  
  
Woohyun leans an arm against the wall, just beside Sunggyu’s head. The older stares at his boss’ eyes, light brown yet deep as the ocean. His long, sharp nose that is just above those thick lips. Lips that Woohyun purposely licks, seeing Sunggyu staring at them.  
  
“Should I?” Woohyun asks. It takes Sunggyu easily half a minute to understand what he means by that, the previous sentence long forgotten in the back of his head.  
  
“Yes¨Sunggyu whispers, “yes, please”  
  
Woohyun doesn’t wait a second before his lips crash against Sunggyu’s, looking for the warm in them and tugging on his lower lip. Sunggyu closes his eyes, feeling for the first time those plump lips he has been staring at the past months, always wondering how’d they taste like. It tastes like mint and a bit of lip balm, but it’s not that what takes his breath away. It’s how those lips are moving against his, covering his entire mouth and quickly parting, tongue asking for entrance. He gives in easily, meeting Woohyun’s tongue halfway and hands finding their place in the younger’s waist inside his suit. Woohyun moves closer to him, pushing him even more against the wall and tilting his head in the right position to fit their mouths perfectly together.  
  
Sunggyu hears a moan and suspects it’s his, but he’s not very sure, not when Woohyun parts away and kisses his cheeks and jaw. He closes his eyes without thinking, enjoying the attention. Woohyun comes back quickly enough, covering Sunggyu’s mouth with his again. They’re probably making too much noise with their kisses, moans and hands moving from here to there— but no one’s there and Sunggyu hasn’t felt as alive in a while as he’s feeling right now.  
  
Woohyun’s hands move down and make their way to his own body, finding Sunggyu’s on his waist still. He grabs Sunggyu’s hands with his and positions them on his ass. The ass that was everything but flat, filling up the pants to right amount to not make his attire look plain dirty when he walks but enough to let everyone know there’s something inside that’s worth seeing.  
  
“Grab it.” Woohyun commands, a hand moving to Sunggyu’s neck and up to the back of his hair, tugging on it. “Grab my flat ass.”  
  
Sunggyu feels his cheeks heat up, but he follows the command nevertheless. His fingers close around the roundness of Woohyun’s ass cheeks and the mere image of what he’s doing makes him moan again— and inside Woohyun’s mouth.  
  
“Woohyun, I got your— oh fuck.”  
  
Both males break the kiss, moving away from each other and coughing their way out of the awkwardness in which Sungyeol just put them in. Sunggyu’s red as a tomato and Woohyun just won’t look up.  
  
“Can’t you fucking knock?” Woohyun complains, passing a hand through his face.  
  
“And miss you eating your forever crush’s face?” Sungyeol mocks, smiling. “No fucking way.”  
  
“Just fucking get out.” Woohyun mutters.  
  
It takes at least two more mocking comments for Sungyeol to finally walk out (and not without making sure to remind Woohyun that he owns him 50 bucks) and when Woohyun finally turns around, Sunggyu is not as ashamed as he was when they were interrupted.  
  
“So, boss” He starts, “where were we?”  
  
  
This was indeed not a bad day.  

 


	6. unraveled pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunggyu is looking for something, he's not sure what it is exactly. 
> 
> Maybe it has something to do with the human who's living in the only cabin near his forest.

feb, week 1. pray

 

Sunggyu doesn't realize when it happens. By the time he realizes something has changed, days, weeks, months-- maybe even years, have passed by. But it's not really a bother for him to know that a lot of time has passed, the bother lays on the fact that these many years had to pass for it to happen, for him to finally notice.

To happen... what, exactly?

Sunggyu isn't sure of the answer to such question. He just knows it like how he knows there's four seasons in a year, like how the snow, the one he hates at the beginning of every winter but grows fond of at the end when spring is around the corner, is white. He knows something has changed, it's like it has a smell and it's so intense and persistent-- he can't ignore it.

He hasn't shifted in a long time. He didn't have a reason to do so. Why would he? When all he has needed is a place to sleep in, animals to hunt and snow to play in until he grows tired and he moves into a different part of the forest to discover the best places to hide at and the little ponds that form on the summer. He likes the orange color of his fur and his long tail to leave it behind for a human body he hasn't really liked just yet.

Being a human required a lot of maintenance that foxes don't need. Like how a human needs to shower every other day, needs a few changes of clothes since being naked isn't really well seen; how the human tongue is a bit too picky and suddenly the raw meat doesn't taste as good like when he eats it in his fox state. No. Being human is something he doesn't really like.

But he has searched for the thing in his fox state for a few days now, and there's so many places a fox can go to without risking his life of getting run over or shot at. Sunggyu evades cities and towns like the plague if he can-- but, sadly, maybe those are the places he should be looking in to get his answer.

He's not sure what he's looking for or even why for that matter. All he knows is that he should, so he is. He plans to break into a cabin at the beginning of winter, when three seasons of searching have passed by, and to steals some warm clothes to put on so winter doesn't hit him so hard when he decides to shift into a human again, after so many years of living the comfortable life of a fox.

The cabin he breaks in is a little one that is just besides his favorite part of the forest. This cabin is normally inhabited, probably because it's far from the city or maybe it's just expensive like that. There's only one car parked at the front, a new SUV that is probably rented or actually just bought-- Sunggyu isn't really sure and doesn't really care. What he cares about is that the new tenant is a male with a sense of fashion, or at least with a common sense with lots of jackets stored in his closet.

The hole he made two winters back has been covered up and he's basically forced to make a new one or go for the easy way and break a window. He's not in a rush but he's not your typical kind of living thing with patient overflowing his existence itself, so he easily breaks the window by throwing some rocks against it.

He didn't actually contemplate that the tenant would be inside the house, which is stupid of him. The SUV is parked just in front, where would the person be if not there?

Sunggyu doesn't wait around to see who comes out. He makes a run between the bushes and to the inside of his forest, knowing very well that the tenant won't come looking for him, and even if they did, they wouldn't find him so easily.

About an hour later, he comes back.

The SUV is missing and the window has been sloppily covered up with a piece or rag, as if this way no one will notice it has been broken in a corner. Sunggyu smirks to himself, as maybe his stupid decision ended up being The master plan.

When he steps into the cabin through the hole, his body shivers in reaction to... everything. He has to stop himself from moving further, not knowing what is it exactly that's affecting him. Is it the scent? Is it because it's yet warm inside? Is it some kind of sixth sense he hasn't well understand, like how he doesn't understand why is he even able to turn into a human (but he doesn't question it either)? Or maybe it's everything at the same time, hitting him from everywhere in every way.

He closes his eyes and lets his nose make the decision of where to go. This human, whoever they are, is very very interesting. Their suitcases are scatter around the room, half empty with some bags standing up on the inside, dirty clothes, probably. The table in the kitchen has only one thing on the top: a bottle of vodka that is half empty.

The walls are naked, nails hammered between the wood logs, and Sunggyu doesn't see much but a few untouched boxes laying around the room. He walks down from the window and slowly approaches one of the suitcases, struggling to open up the bag of clothes and easily giving up.

Since the cabin isn't so big and the only closed room is actually the bedroom, he quickly scans the tiny living room and tiny kitchen, not interested in anything else, even if everything sets off an alarm within him.

He walks into the bedroom and finds the dresser opened up, making it easy for him to climb up and give it a look. The drawers are half full, and from this position, Sunggyu gets the best angle to look at them, and also, to smell them.

 _This is it_ , Sunggyu thinks. _This is what I've been looking for._

He drops into the drawer and smells the pieces of clothes more closely, digging his nose in them. This is when he confirms to himself that the tenant is a male, it is obviously a male. This smell couldn't come from a girl, it's too rough, like rosewood, yet faintly musky.

He can't help it but start rubbing his body against the fabric of the clothes so he can imprint the smell in himself. It's his natural side acting up, he tells himself. His prudent side wouldn't do this, he wouldn't mess up the tidy clothes and he wouldn't purr like a stupid cat would do, but he finds himself doing these things and he seriously doesn't even care.

His heart feels content, and he doesn't want to part away from this smell, not in a million years. But he has to do it at some point, his realistic side remembers.

Not if I take one thing or two...

He quickly scans what he has messed up, looking for the bigger thing with the best smell, even if everything smells amazingly the same, he wants the one thing that will remain the same the longest.

The dilemma lies between a soft melon sweater and an intense red scarf. Both are equally great, but his mouth doesn't open enough to carry them both and he's scared to shift inside this place and not be able to break out. So he chooses the scarf and drags it out from the broken window, making his best effort to tangle it around his body so it wouldn't get too dirty the moment he steps down onto the white snow. It does get a bit dirty, but Sunggyu's interested in the smell, so he doesn't pay much attention to that and walks away from the cabin, sure that his business here is done.

He couldn't be any more wrong.

  
The smell lasted a few days. Two, maybe three, before it smelled more like Sunggyu than the tenant, and the fox starts getting frustrated. This is not what he wanted.

The scarf is nice and warm, yeah, but without the smell, what's the point of it?

He doesn't really want to go back and break in again, but he has gotten used to the scent he just has to smell it or he'll go crazy.

The next time he goes back, is during the night.

Sunggyu does it in hope that the tenant is asleep, but he's soon disappointed when he peeks through the trees and sees light coming out from the windows. He's just about to turn around and leave when he realizes there's someone outside.

The tenant (it must be him, right?) is resting the back of his arms against the wooden railing, a glass of something in his hand that he drinks every so often. Sunggyu can't quite see his features, just the silhouette of his body, from his feet to the top of his head, shined by the light from inside.

The light illuminates the moment the tenant breaths out and a white puff is created besides his mouth. Sunggyu can't help it but wonder. Wonder what the tenant would be doing there if it's so cold outside, wonder if smelling the tenant would be better than any stolen garment.

Sunggyu gets pulled out from his thoughts when he hears sobs coming from the tenant. He presses his mouth against the snow so he can see him better, and finally acknowledge how his body is trembling, shoulders vibrating with his head lowered. The glass in his hand is now empty, and that's probably the fuel of every sound that he's making now.

His body aches to move nearer, do something about this situation even though he well knows there's nothing he can do. He moves one leg, then the other and--

"Who's there?" His stuttered voice breaks the silence.

Sunggyu must've move too much, because the next thing he knows is that the tenant is looking back at him, head up again, light in his eyes.

"Hey" The tenant says, back of his hands cleaning up the tears that have run down his cheeks.

Sunggyu feels conflicted, because he can't see the tenant's face just yet and he wants to run away, but he wants to stay and see what'd happen next if he lets the tenant get as near as his instinct would let him.

The tenant walks down the few wooden steps and his boots make this funny noise of snow being pressed down. Sunggyu keeps his body pressed against the snow as if the boots were pressing on him instead, and waits for the tenant to get closer. He's walking slowly, probably afraid that any sudden movement would scare the fox away, and it would certainly do, Sunggyu thinks. His body is trembling a bit more with every step he takes, and it's all because he wants to see the tenant's face.

When the tenant is closer enough, Sunggyu can finally smell him. His nose moves frenetically in the air, looking for that scent he grew an addiction on the past days.

"Hey there little guy" The tenant greets, and Sunggyu sees the side of his face stretching up in a smile, a sad one, he guesses. "Were you staring at me?"

The tenant crouches in front of him, keeping his hands to himself but debating whether to touch the fox or not.

Sunggyu confirms that the smell he likes is the tenant himself and nothing else. He lifts his head from the snow and the tenant must've seen this as Sunggyu wanting him to touch him, so he lifts his hand too and--

Sunggyu runs away, heart beating faster than any run he has made before.

 

  
It becomes a habit.

Sunggyu visits the tenant every other day, trying hard not to get caught, but it's as if the tenant was waiting for him, because every time he reaches the cabin, there's a plate of dog food waiting for him.

The first time it happened, Sunggyu had to laugh to himself. He had walked up the steps and smell the plate just to push it with his nose and smell the sides of the cabin, searching for that smell that's the only reason why he's visiting this place. The tenant had opened the door and though that meant that the smell was finally back, Sunggyu had ran away again.

It took about three more visits until Sunggyu saw something else rather than dog food. There was a dead rabbit laying on top of a plastic plate, waiting for Sunggyu. He had ate it that afternoon and walked away, fully knowing the tenant was peeking from the window with a smile on his face.

 

 

Sunggyu learns that his name is Woohyun.

The tenant doesn't tell him-- it's more like, Sunggyu hears it.

They have been playing around each other, the tenant peeking every other time to see if he can catch a glimpse of the fox, and Sunggyu making his best effort on not to get caught.

It's maybe a week later since they had their night encounter that Sunggyu finds the front door open. He doesn't think much about it and walks up the steps and into the cabin, finding the inside different than that other time he broke into the place.

The suitcase are missing and there's more stuff sitting on the table, a few alcohol bottles instead of just one. The walls have pictures, although they're all turned over. Sunggyu tries not to give much importance to that and steps further inside, smelling the carpet and furniture that doesn't have that closed up smell anymore, but the tenant's smell.

Sunggyu hears a noise from outside and gets startled, running to one of the corners behind the couch. The tenant is walking inside, a box in his hands, covering his face.

The fox has seen pieces of his face, a cheek here, an eye peeking there, some brown locks. But he has yet to see the whole thing, and he can't help it but peek from the side of the couch. The tenant places the box down with a puff of dust lifting from the floor. He's giving the fox his back, and he digs out his phone, opening it up and pressing on some buttons until a voice comes from the little device.

The tenant leaves it on the table and opens the box as the voice speaks.

"Hey, Woohyun... so, I know you don't want to talk to anyone, but it's been two weeks and I-- I just hope you're even listening to this message. I talked to Hoya and he told me that--"

The voice stops talking the moment Woohyun takes the phone and throws it against the wall, cellphone scattering in the floor and just over where Sunggyu was hiding. The fox yelps in surprise, but it seems like the tenant, Woohyun, doesn't realize this as he starts groaning loudly.

The groans turn into little yells, and the yells turn into sobs at some point.

Sunggyu peeks his head out, and finds Woohyun sitting on his chair, eyes closed with tears yet again running down his cheeks. He's painfully beautiful, Sunggyu thinks. It troubles him that the human cries this much and he doesn't know the reason why or if he's even able to help. All he knows is that he doesn't like it.

The fox is startled for the third time that day when Woohyun lifts his head and screams in surprise when he notices the fox peeking his head from behind his couch. The chair leans back and Woohyun falls onto the ground.

Sunggyu comes out from his hiding stop and stares at the human lying on the ground.

"How did you even get inside?" Woohyun asks him, as if Sunggyu were to answer.

"The door was open." Sunggyu answers, but all Woohyun hears is a moan from him. The human laughs and stands up.

Sunggyu is kind of expecting Woohyun to finally be scare of him and take out his broom to push him out the cabin, or worst, to take out his rifle and shot him dead. Woohyun does neither.

Instead, he digs his hand into the box and takes a dead rabbit from there.

"Got you more food." Woohyun says and Sunggyu finds himself staring at his mouth that stretches to the sides as the human tries to smile and not frown at the dead rabbit hanging between his index and thumb.

The smell from the dead rabbit is amazing, maybe the thing died just today, but from on top of that delicious smell, Sunggyu focuses on that other smell that Woohyun emanates and this whole place has.

The question that's been wandering in his head since he noticed something changed is still there, unanswered. Sunggyu knows it has something to do with this human, with Woohyun, who somehow is caring enough for him that he bought him some dead animals for him to eat.

Woohyun throws the rabbit toward Sunggyu's side, and the fox rushes to bite that place where Woohyun had been holding the rabbit, as if the smell could also have a taste.

It does not, but it does taste different.

Tastes like home, like this part that he's now munching on is the tastiest thing he's ever tried and it has something to do with Woohyun.

Who knows, it might.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sunggyu confesses next week 
> 
> (all this will make more sense next week istg)
> 
>  


	7. unraveled pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth has always been, and now he’s sure, that he belongs to the human world as much as he likes to deny it. 
> 
>  
> 
> He belongs to Woohyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one day earlier birthday gift from me to y'all~  
> enjoy another mess  
> also, [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkXbzffVl44&ab_channel=PetroleumHead) is the song in the entry

**february, week 2, confession/tell me**

 

 

Sunggyu doesn’t understand how it happens. One moment he was eating the dead rabbit, chewing on his juicy muscles and enjoying the blood that flooded out of them. The next moment, he was lying in Woohyun’s lap, head resting on his waist, mouth washed and nose taking in the only smell that probably mattered– Woohyun’s.

Maybe he knows how it happens. But he decides to ignore that hour in which was Woohyun gasping and staring at him as Sunggyu had his meal before he had tried little by little to approach the fox.

“You won’t bite me, right?” He had asked.

“Wasn’t thinking about it.” Sunggyu answered, and yet again, the tenant only heard a weird moan and growl blended together coming from the fox.

“Why do I feel like you’re answering me?” Woohyun had asked and could swear he somehow heard the fox mutter back a _‘because I am’_. But foxes don’t talk, so he’s sure that didn’t happen.

Woohyun had finally approached him after long minutes of slow walking and Sunggyu just staring at him, bored. _What a weird human._ When his hand had finally touched the top of Sunggyu’s head, the fox instantly melted, closing his eyes and letting the tenant move his hand down his furry neck.

The tenant had carefully washed his mouth that was fully stained in blood. Sunggyu had been scared at first when he tried to put the towel near him– but he gave in quite easily and quite fast.

He remembers all this, because it just happened. But now that he’s resting on Woohyun’s lap, he can’t find the logic in what just happened. How can Woohyun be so comfortable with him already, not only approaching him but letting him nap in his lap. Sunggyu isn’t really napping, but he’s quite near doing it by how Woohyun’s hand can’t stop caressing his body, from the top of his head, down the middle of his face to the tip of this nose, then again to his head and down his body until his tail’s base.

Sunggyu opens an eye slightly and catches Woohyun looking down at him with furrowed eyebrows, probably thinking the same as him.

“This is so strange” Woohyun chuckles, but doesn’t stop the petting, and Sunggyu’s glad.

 

Sunggyu had finally fallen asleep and by the moment he wakes up, he’s no longer in Woohyun’s lap. The human is laying down on the front couch, left hand on the back of his head acting as a pillow and the other resting on top of his stomach, mouth open with soft snores coming out. His head is tilted to the side, as if he was looking at the fox while he slept and somehow drifted to dreamland himself at some point.

 

 

 

They grow a routine without meaning to. Sunggyu goes back to the white forest when the sun goes down, Woohyun looking at him go from the window. Then the fox comes back first thing in the morning, and waits for Woohyun to wake up and give him something to eat, even though he can easily feed himself at any times. He just chooses not to, because by the third time Sunggyu had eaten something in front of Woohyun, the human had stopped grimacing and started smiling– a little one, just a bit, showing off that he was content looking at the fox eating his meal. Woohyun crouches in front of him and just stares.

Sometimes, Sunggyu stays near the cabin at night. He finds a bush and curls with his tail around his body, bringing warm and thinking about a certain smell and what the meaning of that smell could have. He’s yet not sure why he’s so attached to Woohyun, why does he even makes the effort to come back to this human. He’s not sure why the human is reaching him halfway, feeding him and treating him with care and probably, just probably, love too.

He listens through the night. He tries not to. His sleep has always been top priority– he must reach the 10 hours sleep or he would be grumpy all day.

But it’s like Woohyun doesn’t want him to.

The human cries at night. He breaks things, screams, reads out loud to authors Sunggyu doesn’t understand and cries himself to sleep with music echoing to the outside, just when Sunggyu has finally gather up the courage to walk up the wooden steps and scratch on the door, somehow bothered and preoccupied. Woohyun is far long gone hearing the woman sing until he’s asleep to listen to the fox outside, calling out his name in longs howls.

 _Where once was light_  
_Now darkness falls_  
_Where once was love_  
_Love is no more_

 _Don’t say - goodbye_  
_Don’t say - I didn’t try_

 

He knows it’s a problem, of course it is.

But again, it’s not like he can do something about it.

At least not in his fox state.

Sunggyu has been thinking about it as much as he has tried to make up excuses.  He has tried to keep an eye on Woohyun at all times, but the tenant sometimes doesn’t open the door. He sometimes stays home all day, doesn’t even try to peak an eye out– as if he has forgotten there’s even a little someone waiting for him outside of the door.

He doesn’t mind. Of course he doesn’t.

Because when Woohyun does open the door, the human is smiling. Smiling so wide Sunggyu _almost_ doesn’t see the bags under his eyes. He almost misses the way Woohyun zones out when he’s looking at Sunggyu eat, or when he’s petting him when the fox is in his lap, both on his bed.

One day, Woohyun speaks out.

“My heart hurts most of the time” He states. “It started when he left me.”

He doesn’t understand.

“I don’t think it hurts because it’s him– I think it hurts because it _shouldn’t_ be him.”

 

 

“Does it make sense?”

 

 

 

“Yes.”

 

 

 

It was meant to happen. Sunggyu knew it, even from the very beginning, from the moment he knew how to shift into a human even though he didn’t understand how or why is that even possible, he knew he belonged more to his human side.

He didn’t want to, though. He had convinced himself that being a fox was better and easier, because it was. Being a fox was what he wanted– but he has lived a long life, longer than what a fox or any living thing should have, a life for centuries. And he knew what that meant.

It meant that, as long as he was a fox, he couldn’t age, hence, he couldn’t die, not naturally.

It had been good, if you looked it at like he did. Because it meant more days of fun, more days of hunting and more days to explore the world. He had used every day to its fullest, convinced that he didn’t mind the ironic curse he had within himself– convinced he didn’t need that someone else that’d finally fill him up completely, that the nature, the runs, the hunts and snow would do it instead.

Truth has always been, and now he’s sure, that he belongs to the human world as much as he likes to deny it. He belongs to need to eat something cooked, to the thoughts that a fox shouldn’t have, the logic within them and everything humanized. He belonged to a body that stands in two feet and is greedy to eat three times a day, shower once a day, and love someone at least once.

He belongs to Woohyun.

 

 

 

 

He was going to shift, but for that, he needed clothes.

It wasn’t so hard to get them when you have a human living in the only cabin in your forest. It was actually pretty easy if you were skilled as Sunggyu was, and the person living in that cabin napped during the afternoon as much as Woohyun did.

He first took out a shirt, then a pair of jeans, then a jacket– a pretty one that Woohyun doesn’t use and wouldn’t miss. He gives it a thought about the underwear and figures it can be pretty weird– but this whole thing is weird to some measure.

 

When he shifts, he does it stupidly.

Sunggyu had found a pond, one that wasn’t freezing as much as he thought it would, and he had gone inside to have his final fox bath, enjoy his wet fur a last time and shake the water off a last time too.

And to almost cause himself hypothermia, when his body had shifted in the middle of that long wanted bath. His human skin hurt and went numb by the second, and he had come out from the pond with aching fingers looking for warmth in the stolen– no, borrowed clothes.

But they weren’t enough. He didn’t bring anything for his feet and even wearing everything he took, he still felt the icy droplets in his hair falling on his shoulders and the throbbing pain in every part of his red body.

So he does the one logical thing.

 

 

Woohyun is looking at him. _Finally_ looking at him. He’s looking at Sunggyu tremble on his front door, using a jacket he swears he owns too, kept in the back of the closet. His hair is yet wet, sticking to his forehead.

“What happened to you?”

These ears listen differently, he hears a different tone– maybe it’s just him.

“I–” Sunggyu flinches at his own voice “I fell on water.”

“I can see that.” Woohyun chuckles, and when Sunggyu– the human, flinches and trembles a lot more, he finally moves aside and the other walks in immediately. “What I don’t understand is _how_.”

Sunggyu makes up a lie in the end. He doesn’t want to lie to Woohyun, he wants to tell him the whole truth, but he’s not sure it’s the time or way to do it. He limits himself to accept the quilts that Woohyun wraps him around, and tries really hard to not blush when he puts a towel in his head and starts drying it off.

“So?” Woohyun asks, sitting in the coffee table in front of Sunggyu. The fox-now-human has to admit, he likes to see Woohyun in an eye level much more than from the ground. “What happened to you?”

“I told you” he coughs.

Woohyun frowns at the lie. “then why isn’t your clothes wet?”

_Fuck._

“I– wasn’t wearing any clothes when I fell.”

The tenant moves back from the position with his elbows resting on his knees and his eyebrows furrows even more. Sunggyu knows Woohyun couldn’t resist to his fox self, but to his human self– he wasn’t so sure he could be as charismatic.

“Maybe you should–”

“Are you okay?” Sunggyu asks, finally voicing out the only question he has meant to ask for a long time now.

“What?” Woohyun answers, taken aback. “I’m– what?”

“You look… sad.”

“I–” Woohyun stutters and laughs. “I’m not the sadomasochist one that most probably jumped into a lake, naked.”

“I did not!”

 

Woohyun offers him to stay the night after Sunggyu says he doesn’t have any place to sleep. He doesn’t expect it, but he’s thankful.

They have dinner together and Woohyun questions him about this and that, basically forcing Sunggyu to make up lies after lies, knitting his own web that he has to keep now if he wants to stay with Woohyun. Sunggyu eats what Woohyun makes him and asks what it is after the third bite. Whatever he’s eating, it’s the best thing he’s ever tried.

Woohyun smiles from behind his cup of glass.

 

 

“You’re eating rabbit.”

 

 

 

 

Sunggyu confesses that night.

He didn’t meant to, really. He had lied down on the couch with an extra bed sheet on top, trying hard to remember every lie he said today and prepare for what could happen the next morning, see if he can somehow convince Woohyun to let him stay more and see where he can go from there–

But Woohyun had started crying from his room, and Sunggyu couldn’t just _not_ hear.

He tried to, against his best judgement. He tried to leave the other alone because the last thing Woohyun would want is for the weird guy to come and try to console him– it’s just not normal.

However, Woohyun had played the same song he has been playing for the last week and he couldn’t do it anymore.

 _These tears we cry_  
_Are falling rain_  
_For all the lies_  
_You told us_  
_The hurt, the blame_

Sunggyu knocks on the door, and though he doesn’t hear and answer, he opens it.

Woohyun is sitting on his bed, back against the wall and bottle of vodka in his hand. His cheeks are rosy and there’s a drunken smile in his mouth.

“Hyun..” he says, and it sounds like a whisper. “Are you okay?”

Woohyun turns off the music. “Me?” he asks and snickers. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Look who’s talking!”

Sunggyu steps into the room, closing the door behind him. He leans against it and locks eyes with Woohyun who keeps on drinking from the bottle.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Woohyun grumbles.

“Like what?” Sunggyu asks.

“Like my fox.”

Sunggyu chokes. “Your– _your fox_?”

Woohyun nods his head a bit enthusiastically. “He’s from the forest, he looks at me like he knows what’s going through my mind. It’s funny because he hardly has eyes.”

Sunggyu tries really hard to not say something he shouldn’t say, slowly getting used to the fact that Woohyun finally hears him out every time he talks. He walks to the bed instead, sitting on the opposite side.

“What do you think he knows?”

“He knows I’m lonely. And a failure. I think that’s why he’s sticking with me.”

Sunggyu laughs. “I don’t think he thinks that.”

“What do you know?” Woohyun complains and pouts.

He knows Woohyun is drunk to the point he won’t remember this tomorrow, but the question is right there and he thinks and acts by the momentum. He doesn’t think this further and just spills it out.

“Because I’m that fox.”

Woohyun frowns, looks at Sunggyu as if he was really considering that sentence to be truth. Then he starts laughing, moving the hand that’s holding the vodka bottle and even slips some.

“How can you be a fox?” Woohyun asks incredulous.

“Because I am!” Sunggyu exclaims.

“Then show me” Woohyun mutters, leaning forward to Sunggyu, breath of alcohol hitting Sunggyu’s face. “Become a fox or whatever.”

Sunggyu scoffs, but does as told. He closes his eyes and tries really hard to shift back into a fox, just like he has done it before and he somehow did it while he was in the pond– but it doesn’t happen, and instead of turning, he hears a laugh.

“You’re cute” Woohyun smiles.

“But–”

Sunggyu doesn’t get the chance to finish up his complain, because Woohyun leans forward and seals their lips in a kiss. A drunken one, that meant nothing more than lips against lips, but something as simple as that is enough to turn Sunggyu’s world upside down.

He tastes the alcohol in those three seconds that the kiss lasts before Woohyun parts away and lets his head fall on Sunggyu’s lap, leaving him dumbfounded with what just happened.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this– he wasn’t supposed to confess to being with, and Woohyun wasn’t supposed to think he’s cute only when he’s in a drunk state, and he should not fall asleep on his lap, leaving Sunggyu unable to go back to the couch.

But Sunggyu takes the opportunity, even if nothing went as he wanted it to. He leaves the empty bottle on the floor and proceeds on caressing Woohyun’s locks just like he had petted his fur, convinced that the next time he tells Woohyun, he won’t be drunk, and he will believe him next time around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu at my cc if you want an unraveled pt.3 bc this wasn't enough curiouscat.me/kingyu


	8. confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well," Sunggyu breaths out, lowering down to whisper in his ear. "I guess you own me two fucks with the right name."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am going to use the petty card and say there won't be a part 3 for unraveled until the week prompt fits it, so i'm sorry for that, and i'm sorry for what you're about to read lol  
> (this was originally going to be my confession entry)

**february, week 3. tgif (thank god its friday)**

 

Sunggyu doesn’t know how it happened.

One moment he was complaining to Sungyeol in his room, equation papers, unfinished essays and books stacked up in large piles that could easily be the pillars of a fortress, the fortress of ‘no social life because I have too much homework’. The younger had smacked him in the back of his head, and though the normal Sunggyu would tackle him and force an  _I’m so sorry hyung, you are the best, please let me go_  out of him, tonight, he just accepted the hit. Even Sungyeol got scared Sunggyu didn’t react violently to that.

Next moment, he’s on his way to the club after putting on some tight black jeans and letting Sungyeol put on some make up on him. He’s resigned by this point, knowing he won’t get an A in his Monday assignment so what the hell.

He forgot how scary a club would be, though. At least for him.

All the stares that could eat him alive ( _it’s a good thing_ , Sungyeol whispers in his ear,  _it means you look hot_ ), the pressure of people dancing literally besides him when he’s not even in the dance floor, the hot air in the little cramped place. It all puts him on the edge to the point he wants to walk out of there right now and–

“Here.” The bartender says, leaving a glass of… something, in front of Sunggyu.

He frowns. Sungyeol has gone somewhere far after promising that he wouldn’t leave him alone, because  _hyung I’m not that kind of friend_. “I didn’t ask for this.”

“No,” the bartender smiles, as if she has done this a million times, “but the gentleman over there sent it for you.”

The girl points to the other end of the bar where a guy is sitting, a glass lifted in his left hand. He gifts Sunggyu a smile and drinks from it.

Sunggyu doesn’t think twice before one shot-ing the drink and asking the bartender for a second one.

In matter of seconds, the guy moves swiftly from his seat, through the mass of people, and sits besides Sunggyu. Although he wants to let go of himself and flirt like he’s supposed to do, because  _oh fuck he was really cute from afar I don’t want to see how good he must look up close_ , he still needs at least other three drinks in his system.

“You drank that pretty fast” The guy says with a chuckle. “It will hurt tomorrow”

The bartender arrives with two other drinks and Sunggyu snatches them before the glasses could touch the surface, gulping down the content and frowning afterwards, throat burning from the alcohol.

“Who’s thinking about tomorrow?” Sunggyu answers, looking back at the stranger whose eyebrows are lifted in amusement. Sunggyu smirks, finally feeling the alcohol’s effect in his thinking process.

“What’s your name?” The guy asks, finishing up his drink and lifting a finger asking for another.

“Make it two” Sunggyu tells him, and this makes the other laugh, not questioning him.

Sunggyu admires the guy’s face as he’s asking for the drinks. His hair is lifted and moved to the side, plumped cheeks with a sharp nose, and the lips, oh, Sunggyu doesn’t want to even try to describe those lips that his now almost drunk self would drown himself into. He wonders if they’re as puffy as they seemed, and pin points that thought for later when he finally gets to taste them.

“I’m Sunggyu” He answers, drinks arriving and disappearing in seconds. “you?”

The guy smiles from behind his drink, gulping down a big chunk of his vodka. “I’m Myungsoo.”

Sunggyu lifts an eyebrow.  _Myungsoo_.

“So tell me,” Myungsoo starts “what has a guy gotta do to take you home?”

 

 

Well, not much.

Apparently all you gotta do is buy Sunggyu more alcohol and make him laugh. You’ll probably get the chance to touch him subtlety, and if Sunggyu didn’t move the hand away, then you hit jackpot.

Sunggyu wants to think he’s not that easy, that not anyone has the chance to push him against the wall and make him moan like he hasn’t been touched in months (though in fact, some pretty solid weeks  _have_ passed by). But he doesn’t want to give Myungsoo the satisfaction to think he’s that good (but he is).

He has ditched Sungyeol in the club, knowing well that the younger wouldn’t even notice and neither would he mind if he did. The way to his apartment is shorter than he expected it to be, with isolated memories of feeling Myungsoo up in the back of the cab and efforts to not moan too loud when the other has tugged on the back of his hair, lips tasting his face, traveling far down to his neck and leave a few marks there while he's at it.

This is a first time for Sunggyu. He hasn’t hooked up with anyone in a one night stand, because this is that, right? He’s not looking for anything after this night and he doesn’t want to give himself the opportunity to even think about Myungsoo in the day light, in the middle of a date– because no, this is not that and it won’t be.

Myungsoo pushes him against the wall again when they're outside of Myungsoo's apartment, and Sunggyu laughs over the kiss. Myungsoo was in the middle of taking out his keys and with the sudden push, they have dropped down to the floor.

“I'm so silly" He purrs in Sunggyu's ear. "Lemme take them” Myungsoo whispers, tugging on Sunggyu’s lower lip before kissing his way down, making sure to leave a print of his lips on his collarbone and feeling him up as he moves down.

He crouches in front of Sunggyu and takes the keys, but he doesn’t move up again.

“What are you doing?” Sunggyu asks, peeking an eye down. His eyesight has been compromised by the alcohol, and even though it's not that dark and he's able to see very well, he doesn't really process what he's seeing.

Myungsoo smiles up at him, hands going for his belt to undo it. “Don’t make too much noise, okay?”

Sunggyu frowns, about to ask what he means by that, but the question is cut short even before he tried to formulate it the moment Myungsoo pushes his jeans and underwear down, freeing his semi hard red cock. Myungsoo takes the member in his hand and starts to pump it slowly, making Sunggyu open his mouth and breath out a soundless moan.

The ministration feels amazing against his shaft, he wants to tell him to never stop and  _go_   _harder_ ,  _faster_ , when Myungsoo decides it's the best moment to cover the tip of Sunggyu's cock with his mouth. Whatever that Sunggyu was feeling before is nothing against now when he's feeling the warm and wetness of the other's mouth.

"Oh, Myungsoo.." He barely says, and something about it feels weirdly wrong. 

Myungsoo makes sure to apply pressure over the tip with his tongue, looking up to Sunggyu and admire him with his eyes closed and mouth open enough to catch a hundred of flies. He's breathing out soft moans and one hand moves instantly to the back of Myungsoo's head, holding for dear life when Myungsoo mouths his shaft again and decides to hollow his cheeks.

One of Myungsoo's hand is taking the base, pumping the member ever so slowly as his mouth takes care of the rest. The other hand is holding one of Sunggyu's thigh when he feels him start trembling, trying to reach his climax.

He uncovers the cock with a pop sound, licking on the outside of his mouth and looking up at Sunggyu with whinny eyes about to ask why the hell did he stop. Sunggyu takes his time to actually ask, enough to let Myungsoo open the door and move him inside, claiming his lips once again.

Sunggyu tastes himself on the other's mouth, and he finally moans out loud when he hears the door closing behind them, cock trembling and aching harder at his own sound.

"You're so inpatient" Myungsoo whispers with a smirk, hands on Sunggyu's waist after taking off both of their tops, now pushing Sunggyu against his own body to rub both cocks together, his still clothed up.

"So do something about it" Sunggyu answers back, kissing him again and pushing him back until Myungsoo hits one of the walls.

His hands tremble as he sloppily tries to undo his belt and move his pants down. Myungsoo stops him before he can reach the zipper.

"Let's go to the bed" He whispers.

Sunggyu whines in response. "No, it's too far, just- take me here"

He feels the moment Myungsoo opens his eyes, eyelashes tickling his cheeks as he does. They look at each other for five solid seconds, Sunggyu trying to keeps this memory someplace he won't forget about the next day. He feels insecurity climbing up his legs for a moment as Myungsoo doesn't answer, but then every doubt falls altogether the moment he whispers a  _fuck_ , and covers his mouth in a wet sloppy kiss.

They end up having raw sex against the table, Sunggyu's back vent down against the cold surface, both hands looking to hold the edges as Myungsoo preps him and after minutes of teasing, finally enters him. He's filling him up to the point he's got Sunggyu smiling stupidly, looking up at him with such lust Sunggyu doesn't think he'll ever get down of.

When Myungsoo starts trusting faster and harder, he's basically forced to moan loudly, going from incoherent sounds to solids  _Myungsoo, Myungsoo, Myungsoo_. The other frowns every time he hears his name, and lowers down even more to shut up Sunggyu in a sloppy open mouth kiss.

Sunggyu comes untouched, Myungsoo taking out his dick to pump it some more to reach his high and join him on painting the stomach white with his own cum, Sunggyu admiring from the table.

Myungsoo reaches down to grab him by the back of his neck and kiss him some more, some kind of bitterness in his lips. He mumbles something about getting them something to get cleaned up, and Sunggyu just nods with his head, too busy trying to ease his breathing.

Two minutes after, when Myungsoo doesn't come back, Sunggyu panics a little bit. He climbs down the table and looks around the apartment in search for the other. The apartment isn't that big, just the basic rooms looking like they were bought from an Ikea catalogue, furniture matching in dark blues and the kitchen utensils in the same dark red. There's two dog bowls besides the table, bag of dog food closed with a clip and half used. From the light that's being shined from the moon, he can read a  _Nurungie_  written in one of the bowls. 

He finds Myungsoo a minute later when he figured he should stop checking out the apartment. He's squatting in the middle of his bedroom, paper in his left hand while the right one was cleaning up something from the floor. 

"Ugh, from all the days..." Myungsoo mutters in a low grow. 

"What are you doing?" Sunggyu asks. Myungsoo looks back in panic and stands up. Sunggyu tries to not admire him much with his shirt off, tries to stop his eyes from wandering down past his neck, to the slick and toned abdomen.

Myungsoo looks back as if he has been caught red handed, and stutters as he answers. "My dog pooped..."

Now that Myungsoo mentions the existence of a dog in this apartment, he finally acknowledges there's actually one, sitting on top of the bed. It's a corgi, tongue out, eyes switching from Myungsoo to Sunggyu as they talk. The three of them keep quiet, everyone looking at Sunggyu now, and Sunggyu staring at Myungsoo, mortified. 

He laughs, hard. 

 

They go for round two a bit later, when Myungsoo had kicked out Nurungie from the room and finished cleaning up the poop and explained to Sunggyu that this was a first time, that  _Nurungie is really not like this_. Sunggyu had stopped pretending he was listening as he followed the other male around, back hugging him slightly and hand reaching down to cover the other's shaft with his hand, slowly hardening at the touch. Myungsoo prepares him better this time, actually using lube before entering, but this time around too, he didn't let Sunggyu be as vocal as he wanted to be.

When Sunggyu had tried to moan loudly his name, Myungsoo had kissed him again, whispering erotic nothings in his ears, taking Sunggyu harder and faster like how he had wanted him to take him the first time. Sunggyu couldn't help but laugh at the  _You're taking in my cock so good, you're such a good boy_ Myungsoo thought it was appropiate to say. Myungsoo had laughed too, but neither of them went down from the high of the moment, instead they were feeling more comfortable, as if they just weren't fucking around. 

 

 

It's when they're naked lying down next to each other, lumps making an effort to slow down on their breathing and Sunggyu still seeing stars under his eyelids, that he decides to ask.

"Myungsoo, why didn't you let me moan?" The question sounds a bit mood killer, too serious for all the playing and fucking they just finished doing. Sunggyu doesn't feel drunk at all, instead, it's like he's been sobered up. 

"I got to tell you something." Myungsoo says instead, somehow ignoring the answer, somehow trying to answer it altogether, words cut off by his breathing.

Sunggyu hums, trying to sound non chant, trying to ignore the uneasiness in Myungsoo's tone.

"I lied to you." He continues. Sunggyu leans on an elbow and looks down at him from over his shoulder, a frown deep between his eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" Sunggyu asks. "Was I not a good boy?"

An unplanned laugh erupts from Myungsoo's chest and he continues talking, a bit more relaxed yet with careful words. 

"I didn't let you because if I did, you were going to be moaning the wrong name."

Sunggyu doesn't understand. Myungsoo chuckles.

"I-I, uh, my name is kinda, not, Myungsoo." The now unnamed stranger confesses finally. "My name's Woohyun."

The name finally fits with the person in front of him, falling like a missing piece of a puzzle, completing the right picture. 

"Why did you lie?" Sunggyu asks, serious, but actually not hurt. 

Woohyun closes his eyes. "You're gonna laugh." 

Sunggyu sits and moans lightly at the delicious pain he feels in his butt.

"Oh, I am going to laugh."

"I-I didn't think I'll get this far with you" Woohyun confesses. "So I panicked and said my friend's name. Then we  _did_  get far from what I was expecting and didn't know when it would be good to mention this little lie."

Sunggyu sighs loudly, looking up and feeling the stare from Woohyun besides him, mortified that he would decide to leave now. 

But Sunggyu decides something else entirely. 

He swiftly moves one leg up and around, now sitting on top of Woohyun whose eyes are the most open they've probably ever been. They had just finished round two yet Sunggyu feels the pressure of Woohyun's cock under him touching part of his balls. Sunggyu places both of his palms on Woohyun's chest and moves his hips slightly, rubbing both of their members against each other. He's slowly getting aroused again too. 

"Well," Sunggyu breaths out, lowering down to whisper in his ear. "I guess you own me two fucks with the right name." 

Woohyun simply smiles, arm tangling in Sunggyu's neck and bringing him down for a kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember you can always yell at me in [curiouscat](http://curiouscat.me/kingyu)


	9. you ran to me, not away from me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on [bleunari](https://twitter.com/bleunari)'s [fanart](https://www.instagram.com/p/BY-qk4KAeBL/?taken-by=bleunari)

_“Do you know that kid?”_

Sunggyu’s squatting over a pond. He’s looking at the little fishes swim around, unbothered by his presence.

_“Maybe we should--”_

_“Yah, stay away from him. Haven’t you heard the rumors?”_

_What type of fishes could they be?_ , Sunggyu wonders. They’re no larger than his palm, and no prettier than kois. They could be anything.

_“What rumors?”_

_“Well…”_

He’s used to it. Used to the voices behind his head, the tears dry in his cheeks, the loneliness, and the habit to look at people from afar. He normally shuts down the surrounding voices, the uncalled opinions, and, instead, tries to spend a good day with himself.

It’s a Saturday, and the park is filled with all kinds of people. From couples strolling together, little kids running around, families with their dogs on leashes. The trees are tall and their leaves are brown, falling softly over Sunggyu. He looks up at the sky, counting the leaves with a soft voice, one he can only hear.

_“I heard he got his sister killed.”_

Sunggyu laughs to himself when a leaf falls on his face, covering one of his eyes. It tingles, and soon he feels a second one on his body. This time, in his shoulder. Again, he tries to focus his attention on the kids laughing in the distance, not the people talking behind him.

_“Eh? H-how?”_

_It’s rumors_  his mother had told him. _It’s rumors_ , Sunggyu repeats to himself. It’s rumors, he’s convinced. His sister’s death had nothing to do with him, and that much he’s convinced.

But as new tears fall on the sides of his face, accumulating on the inside of his ears, he’s also convinced that because it’s just a rumor, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt at all.

 

“Will you be okay today, honey?” His mother asks, petting his white hair and leaving her hand a few seconds on his puffy cheeks.

Sunggyu looks up at her, the best fake smile he’s used to make, plastered in his lips. She’s not really convinced when he nods his head, but it’s too late to make his stay a little longer, because soon, Sunggyu is running down the street and towards the park, again.

The park is a nice place to be in, only until Sunggyu manages to ignore everything and everyone around him.

He got used to being on his own. Jumping over the big rocks on the pond, counting the fishes, lying on his own side to figure out what the cloud look like. Today too, being on his own doesn’t feel uncomfortable, but rather enjoyable.

A bunch of kids is playing football this afternoon. Sunggyu knows a few of them because they go in the same grade, but he doesn’t dare to walk past the bench on the side of the field, too conscious of what would happen if he did.

_“Yah, get away from us!”_

_“What do you think you’re doing?!”_

_“No one wants to be your friend, so just f*ck off!”_

So instead, he squats behind the bench, hands clenching hard on it, covering the half of his face. And he looks, deep in thought.

Sunggyu used to be sick. Very sick. Sick to the point of living in the hospital, befriending the nurses and getting used to the peeping from the surrounding machines. Because he had no friends of his age and his mom banned him TV, he named those machines. The one with the line that had spikes up and down was Tommy. The one that provided his medicine was Marta. There was also Shiney, who came not very often and only when Sunggyu’s heart stopped beating. He didn’t really like Shiney, but the machine had done nothing to deserve his hate, so he named it too.

The kids that are playing across the field also have names. But they have boring ones, just like Sunggyu. There’s Songwoo, Eunsang, Wooseung, Dohyung and-- who is that?

There’s a new kid he hasn’t seen before. It’s easy to spot him with the clothes he’s using. Everyone else is in their own street clothes, but this kid is the only one using an actual football uniform. There’s a WH written on the back with a big 8.

He’s playing with everyone else, running toward the ball and kicking it hardly, scoring some points on his own. The other kids gather around him and congratulate him, jumping over him, patting the back of his head or ruffling his hair.

Sunggyu stares at them, and when the new kid smiles, he can’t help the _wow_ he’s soon exhaling on his own. Along with the beautiful smile, his eyes go into crescent moons, and two little dimples are drawn on the sides of his mouth.

Sunggyu’s skin is almost as white as his hair, so he feels the exact moment his cheeks go red in embarrassment. _How can someone be so… pretty?_

As if the other boy had heard him think, he looks back directly at Sunggyu.

And Sunggyu doesn’t waste a single second before running away, very, very far away from everyone else.

  
  
  


His sister was pretty.

She used to have this glowing spark in her eyes, one that Sunggyu found amazingly alluring, just like everyone else. His neighbors loved his sister. His teachers. Everyone admired her beauty, and Sunggyu couldn’t blame them, he admired it too.

But the smiles that he got used to see were always toward his sister and no one else. Sunggyu, like the clingey little brother he was, tagged along in everything his sister would do. He thought she would feel annoyed sooner than later, but it never happened. They were inseparables, going everywhere together, but people found that somehow troublesome.

_“Why is your brother like that?”_

_“Huh? So weird…”_

_“Is he like, sick, or something?”_

Sunggyu didn’t mind. From the moment he was born, he was treated differently, looked at differently. The smiles were never supposed to be for him, but the scowls were.

And only because he tolerated this, it didn’t mean his sister also did.

She would fight for him, would say all the things his mother said too, putting people on their place and telling them to mind their own business. He would then be dragged by the hand until his sister had found a nice lonely place to talk. Normally they would sit over the grass on one side of the pond, and as Sunggyu looked down at the fishes, she would speak aloud for both of them.

He would listen to her bickering, her nagging, her complaining. And he would smile all through it.

“Why are you so cheeky?” She would complain with a groan.

  
  


Sunggyu likes visiting the pond because it reminds him to her. He likes feeding the fishes, almost hearing his sister’s nagging that he shouldn’t feed them because they’d get use to it. Sunggyu doesn’t understand how that’s a bad thing, so even now, he feeds them.

“Hey.”

Sunggyu looks behind his shoulder, startled by the voice.

The boy from the other day is squating behind him, trying to look past his body to see what Sunggyu is doing.

“Why are you alone?” The boy asks. His eyes are big up close, full of confusion and, perhaps, interest?

One part of Sunggyu wants to run away, the other is trying hard to come up with an answer, but the trembling part is the one winning the battle.

“Wh… why wouldn’t I?”

“Isn’t it nice to be with people?” The boy answers. Sunggyu nods. “Then… why are you alone?”

Sunggyu smiles a little, and doesn’t know what comes into him when he answers, “I’m not alone.” The other boy frowns and is about to reply when he adds, “I’m with you.”

The boy smiles, and Sunggyu forgets about the fishes and his sister altogether.

“I’m Sunggyu.”

“I’m Woohyun.”

  
  


“Why do you always wear your football uniform, Woohyun?”

“It’s comfortable. Why are you alone?”

“It’s also comfortable.”

  
  


 

Sunggyu thinks Woohyun has heard about the rumors, but he’s too nice to tell Sunggyu the truth, so he acts as if he doesn’t know anything. He doesn’t understand why the other would want to befriend him, but he stops on pondering on the idea soon enough.

Woohyun really likes football. He also likes running, and eating. He’s nice, to the point that when Sunggyu’s mother met him, it only took her a minute to know the other kid didn’t have ill intentions to befriend her son. He’s nice enough to not ask about Sunggyu’s hair, but he’s also obvious enough to stare at it for hours.

“Can I touch it?” Woohyun asks.

They’re lying down over Sunggyu’s bed, both of them with Sunggyu’s comics in their hands. There’s an open bag of chips on the edge of the bed, and it finally falls down onto the floor when Sunggyu rolls to Woohyun’s side.

He nods, and Woohyun slowly moves his hand up to his hair.

“I was born with it” Sunggyu explains, feeling Woohyun’s fingers dancing between his locks.

“Are you one of those kids with white hair everywhere?” Woohyun asks. “I don’t remember how they’re called…”

Sunggyu chuckles. “Albino. And no. My eyebrows are dark, see?”

“I see.”

“I don’t know why I’m like this.” Sunggyu confesses. “Mom says it’s nothing.”

Woohyun smiles. “If it’s nothing, then let’s not worry about it.”

Sunggyu looks up at him, and finds himself getting lost in Woohyun’s smile.

 

 

 

One day, Sunggyu finally hears what happened to his sister.

He already knew in some extent, because rumors were always born from some kind of truth, but it was the first time he heard it from his mother’s mouth.

Sunggyu needed a transplant, and his sister was the only one who was a match with him. Sunggyu knew this much already, but when he opened his eyes after the surgery, he realized he was getting healthier again but no sister around.

“She didn’t make it through post-op…” he hears his mother say, and what she says next is hard to understand because of her sobs.

 _I killed my sister,_ he thinks.  

  
  


He avoids Woohyun the next days. Not because the other had done something wrong, but because Sunggyu didn’t feel like smiling at all, and he always smiles when he’s with Woohyun.

Sunggyu didn’t want to worry his mother any more, so he goes out but refrains from going to all those places Woohyun knows he normally frequents.

Sometimes he asks to himself, _what’s the point?_ Or, _is it even worth it?_ He normally didn’t have an answer for those question, but nowadays, that isn’t the case.

  
  
  


Sunggyu had tried to avoid him, but it wasn’t that easy. Woohyun had found him somehow and asked him what happened. Today he’s using his football uniform yet again. Sunggyu didn’t hold it any longer and explained everything to Woohyun.

The other had been quiet throughout the story, and when Sunggyu had finally finished, Woohyun got up and ran away.

 _So you hate me too?_ Sunggyu wonders, already feeling his eyes watering.  


 

Ten minutes later, Woohyun’s holding an ice cream in his hand. Sunggyu is walking on his own when the other had run toward him, greeting him with a smile and _hey, hyung!_

“Do you like ice cream?” Woohyun asks.

Sunggyu feels like crying again.

“Who doesn’t?” He says instead, washing away the tears smeared in his face. Woohyun helps him on it with his free hand and smiles.  

He offers the ice cream to him and Sunggyu frowns.

“I got it for you.” Woohyun explains. “It reminds me of your hair.”

“Why are you doing this, Woohyun?” Sunggyu asks.

Woohyun frowns. “You’re my friend.”

Sunggyu does end up taking the ice cream, but he’s soon protesting. “But I--”

“Hyung.” Woohyun interrupts him, taking his hand and locking their fingers together. Sunggyu’s all red and puffy from the crying, and his heart is running a million right now. “You didn’t do anything wrong.

“But my sister--”

“I don’t think she would’ve liked for you to be sad.”

 _What do you know?_ He thinks.

Woohyun laughs. “Yeah, I don’t.” Sunggyu somehow said it out loud. “But she made the decision. She’s not here, but you are.”

Sunggyu doesn’t know what to say anymore. He clenches on Woohyun’s hand and smiles instead. "What do you wanna do now?" 

Woohyun points somewhere, saying something about the biggest frog he's ever seen, but Sunggyu isn't really listening to him. He's instead thinking to himself, concluding that he lost a sister, but somehow found a brother along the way. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from 1 to 10 how bad was this?
> 
> A: 10


	10. angels in the snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based on [nikittysan](https://www.instagram.com/nikittysan/)'s [fanart](https://www.instagram.com/p/BOamQg8Dz1Q/?taken-by=nikittysan)

It's five am and it's freezing so hard Woohyun can feel it all the way up his balls.

That's right, it's _exactly_ as ugly as how that sounds.

He's got a thick cover over him and Sunggyu, the other all pressed up to him from his back. He opens one eye to be greeted with the annoying white light of the cloudy morning, and— is that an opened window? He opens the other eye to confirm that, yes, he left the window open and no, he didn't do as Sunggyu told him last night to check that everything was shut and closed all the way before going to sleep. He'd say he's surprised the older hasn't gotten up, but by the way his arms are tangled around Woohyun's waist and his head is nesting on the back of his neck, it's understandable that he's fast asleep, dead to the world still.

He fidges a little, calculating how far is the window from him and if he'd be able to reach it and close it off, all without waking up Sunggyu in the process. After a few minutes with fruitless calculating without actually moving _at all_ and three shivers down his body, Woohyun concludes that it doesn't matter in the end and he should close it anyway.

But the moment he actually tries to move, he realizes he can't. Sunggyu is holding onto him so strong his waist down is paralized. Well, not really, but he really _can't_ move.

The older groans in objection when Woohyun makes a second attempt, and he looks behind him to see him frown cutely against his back. He makes his best attempt to not giggle on the spot.

"Hyung" He whispers. "The window's open"

"And whose fault is it?" Sunggyu barks, despite the obvious dry throat his voice shows.

Woohyun can't help but laugh this time, which doesn't really last 'cause a freezing breeze is coming in and he's shivering like a wet dog under the rain.

"Let me close it" He begs in a whisper, looking down at the older. Sunggyu groans, rubbing his nose in Woohyun's back before turning around and tugging the cover all over his body and up to his neck. All with his eyes yet closed.

Woohyun stands up in his white tee shirt and black boxers to close up the window who acts on him in the last moment. The floor is cold too, and he can't help but tip toe all his way back to the bed, buring himself under the covers with his boyfriend.

He tries spooning Sunggyu from behind, but the older hisses and kicks him on his knee out of reflex when Woohyun's cold hands touch his waist under his own shirt.

"Fuck" Woohyun groans, rubbing his pained knee.

Sunggyu giggles and peaks an eye under the cover, although he's pretty sure he can't see anything.

"You deserve it" Sunggyu says then, adjusting his head over the pillow. Woohyun notices by the tone of his voice that he's not actually mad, but entertained, almost.

"This is a game two people can play, Kim Sunggyu" He answers with a threatening voice. He hears Sunggyu snort and proceeds on tangling his entire cold body around the older, his head fitting perfectly in the crook of his neck.

"Yah!" Sunggyu yells, but is laughing at the same time. "Get off, you're too cold!"

"Then heat me up, baby" Woohyun purrs, kissing Sunggyu's sensitive neck. The older tries to move away, but Woohyun's got him under his hold and doesn't plan on budging.

After a few seconds of fidgeting and jiggling, Sunggyu finally gives up.

"Alright, knock it off now… and let's sleep some more, hm?" The younger is now in the same temperature as Sunggyu, but he just lets go enough to untangle his legs and accomodate his arms around the older's waist.

"You know," He whispers, still kissing Sunggyu's neck, "I think I'm in the mood for a quicky"

Sunggyu _literally_ laughs out loud.

"Well," he tries to say, still laughing, "you got two hands for that."

Woohyun titters. "You're no fun, hyung."

"And you're too horny, Hyun. Go sleep."

Woohyun groans but goes ignored, so he fixes his head behind Sunggyu's, and leaves a quick kiss at the back of his head before going back to sleep.

 

 

"Please tell me you didn't forget to buy coffee last night." Sunggyu groans.

They're both up and the clock in Sunggyu's phone says it's eleven am. The older, like a responsible human being, took a quick shower and dried off with a new set of clothes and about three or four sweatshirts and hoodies over him. Woohyun, on the other hand, slept more while Sunggyu took his shower and is wrapped around the cover, sitting down on the kitchen's chair while Sunggyu fixes them some breakfast. Or at least plans to.

"Uh" He thinks about what he did last night when, "yes! It's there" He points with his head at a forgotten convenience store bag sitting besides their sofa. Sunggyu sighs, but doesn't comment on it as he goes to pick it up. "So what are we eating?"

"We're drinking coffee" Sunggyu says.

"And?"

"Well— I haven't planned it yet."

Woohyun snorts from the chair. Sunggyu looks back at him, glaring.

"Go and take a shower, Woohyun." Sunggyu orders while he's preparing the coffee machine.

"Only if you join me."

Sunggyu laughs sarcastically. "Do I look like I'm gonna join you?" Woohyun doesn't answer for a few seconds. "Don't think too hard, I can hear you all the way over here."

Woohyun chokes out a laugh. "Is there hot water?"

"Dunno, go find out." Woohyun moans in pain and makes a little tantrum without actually touching the floor, because it's cold and he's not using any socks. "Woohyun, if this was your idea of a sexy and romantic holiday in Russia, then I don't want to go on more holidays with you." He laughs.

"Sorry" Woohyun answers cheekily. "I just didn't think the apartment would be _this_ cold." He stands up and jumps his way towards the older who is serving them their coffee. "I'll take a shower, we'll have breakfast and continue where we left it yesterday, okay?"

Sunggyu looks behind him where Woohyun is standing. He nods and hands Woohyun his coffee.

"Now, I think scrambled eggs for breakfast is not too bad."

He runs away before Sunggyu finds something to throw at him.

 

 

They're out in the snow, the sun making its way down to hide between the mountains at the distant, and Woohyun has _no idea_ what time it is.

They had proceed on watching some movies in the pay-per-view channel they were offered, and though it didn't have any korean subtitles and their english was _obviously_ limited, they enjoyed it still, with cuddles and hot cups of cocoa because too much coffee had Woohyun on edge for the entire day. Woohyun then proceeds to say they should go out and stretch their legs, and also, get them something to eat. Sunggyu looked like he wanted to groan in protest, but he still got up anyway, and followed Woohyun closely behind, keeping his hands in Woohyun's jacket pockets even though he was using his own jacket.

Russia was indeed beautiful, but also cold as fuck. Woohyun wonders why did he go out with only a jacket and turtleneck sweater, but more than that, he had wonder why did Sunggyu come out like that too.

"You cold, baby?" He asks, hugging Sunggyu from over his shoulders. The older shakes his head, then shivers. Woohyun snickers.

"Shut up and find a restaurant, quickly."

"Wait—"

"No, Woohyun, no more petting cute dogs."

Woohyun rolls his eyes. "It's not that, it's _that."_

He points at something that… Sunggyu can't quite see. All he sees is an open white field.

"What?"

"The snow."

"Hyun, the whole country is filled with it."

"But there's something we haven't done" Woohyun answers, lifting his eyebrows.

Sunggyu looks at him for five entire seconds before, "no, Woohyun, no sex over the snow."

Woohyun bursts into a laugh, almost falling off the side row and into the fluff snow besides them. Sunggyu looks at him, amused, but pretty serious with his decision.

"I didn't mean that, but let's get back to that later." Woohyun laughs, and cleans off a tear from his eye.

Sunggyu groans. "Then what did you mean?"

Woohyun _tsk tsks_ him. "C'mere."

He tugs Sunggyu, forcing him to walk with him over the snow and making sure to leave a clean path as he walks for the older to walk in his steps. There's a bit of snot running down his nose, but Woohyun really doesn't care. He stops at some point, and Sunggyu tries to find _that_ something that made Woohyun drag him here.

Woohyun is looking at him, both of their hands clasped together. Sunggyu frowns in confusion.

"What are we doing here?"

"This." Woohyun answers, and lets himself fall over the snow.

Sunggyu laughs as he looks at him. Woohyun has his eyes closed and is moving his arms and legs to the sides, and it's until now that Sunggyu gets it.

"Ah, you wanted to make a snow angel."

Woohyun nods his head. "Come on, hyung, you too!"

"Nah, I'm good." Sunggyu laughs. Woohyun stops moving his limbs and looks up at him with a pout. "Aren't you freezing there?"

"Nothing compares with your cold heart, hyung." Sunggyu gapes and Woohyun can't help but laugh when Sunggyu tries to walk away. "I'm just kidding. Come on, do this with me."

Sunggyu thinks about it for a whole minute, but is a fruitless minute because in the end, he doesn't find any good reason to not do this.

Once he makes his way over to the other side and throws himself backwards, he finds _all_ the reasons to not do this.

"This is fucking cold!" He protests, eyes and mouth wide open. Woohyun's head is at the same level as his, and he's looking over at Sunggyu, laughing.

"Well, what did you expect? Some hot sand?"

Sunggyu glares at him, and takes a bit of snow to throw at his boyfriend.

Woohyun laughs as he looks elsewhere. "Come on, do the angel."

Sunggyu takes some deep breaths before actually doing it, and he makes sure to complain all the way through it. When he's finally done, he sits on his elbows.

"It wasn't so bad, was it?" Woohyun asks, still lying over the snow, and continuing to move his limbs. Sunggyu falls down again, and looks over at him.

"It could've been better" He laughs, and Woohyun stops to look at him.

Their faces are just inches away from each other's, and their smiles are mirroring each other's, wide and sincere. Woohyun is the first one that reaches over to kiss Sunggyu. The older doesn't protest, instead, he responds the peck with a second one. And a third. And Woohyun laughs, and he laughs too. In this moment in particular, life feels perfect, and Sunggyu feels like saying that he wants to cherish this moment forever. He wants to thank Woohyun for a wonderful holiday despite the heartless complains he's been giving the whole time, wants to tell him that he loves him more than anything in this world.  
  
What he actually says is, "I can't feel my butt."

 


End file.
